“Money isn’t everything!!!”……or is it? (Photos)

Photo by Kenneth Justice - All Rights Reserved

Photo by Kenneth Justice – All Rights Reserved

Last night I stumbled across these wedding photos I took of my friend’s Kevin and Cheryl.

Kevin is one of my closet friends and I’ve known him for 16 years (I met him my senior year of high school).

Photo by Kenneth Justice - All Rights Reserved

Photo by Kenneth Justice – All Rights Reserved

Yesterday afternoon my friend W.K. and I got into a really long discussion, (REALLY LONG) on marriage and the keys to staying married. The conversation was mainly focused on what a woman should be looking for in a guy (I have two daughters).

Photo by Kenneth Justice - All Rights Reserved

Photo by Kenneth Justice – All Rights Reserved

W.K. argued that the two main qualities a woman should be looking for are character and faith. A man of good character and a man with a solid faith in god.

I was in a bit of a puerile mood so I argued that character & faith were less important than money; financial security.

Actually, in my psychology 101 class I had to do a presentation on the top 10 indicators of a successful marriage, and during my research I found money to be on the top of the list.

A majority of couples who divorce cite financial problems as a key reason for the unraveling of their relationship.

Photo by Kenneth Justice - All Rights Reserved

Photo by Kenneth Justice – All Rights Reserved

This isn’t to say you can’t find examples of millionaires who get divorced….bloody hell, all we have to do is turn to Hollywood and see people who get divorced more often than they drink water.

However, on a large scale percentage, financial stability plays a bigger role in keeping people together for the long haul.

Photo by Kenneth Justice - All Rights Reserved

Photo by Kenneth Justice – All Rights Reserved

Well, my good friend W.K. wasn’t having what I was drinking and he presented a strong argument in favor of character & faith.

So am I crazy? Should finances never pop up into our minds before we get married? Personally, I think so…….but does that make me shallow? I hope not.

 



Categories: Photography, relationships

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

18 replies

  1. Nice reading about you.

    Thanks for visiting my blog. Browse through the category sections, I feel you may definitely find something of your interest.

  2. Curios
    what the other 9 indicators on the list were….money was the main factor in my divorce…

    • Ha! I had to pull out my essay to remember…having written over 400 essay for that damn degree I wasn’t about to throw em all away after all that hard work;

      the other top five are;

      Family Background
      Age
      Length of Courtship
      Personality
      Pre -Marital Interaction

      I hadn’t actually read that essay in five years so now that I just finished re-reading, its all coming back to me now;

      Because soooooo many people get married young (like I did) and then get divorced young, most of the research we did kept that in mind.

      According to our research, people who get divorced later in life often do so because of financial reasons and breakdowns in communication.

      Personally, I’ve come to the conclusion that America is the wrong place to live if you want to be married. There are too many destructive elements in our individualistic culture that wreak havoc on marriage.

      Brian…dude…I can’t believe I haven’t seen you since I was a kid! It blows my mind how fast time flies….

      I keep wanting to come out to Colorado, I talked with Larry last year and if I can get my S*** together I want to come out their for a weekend and hang out with you both.

  3. As long as he knows a 3 X 5 card’s worth of theology, Uncle Wiggly or Bozo the Clown are her perfect match. 🙂

  4. Ha! Mr Wilhelm I ain’t even taking your bait and responding to that! lol another time sir, another time.

  5. Lets put it this way, “All happy people are not rich; also all rich people are not happy, and only a happy person can create a happy marriage”.
    Thank you for liking my post.

  6. I wonder if a relationship that cannot function without monetary security is worth having. That seems to me like having a relationship whose health is partially determined by the Detroit Tigers’ win/loss record. I do understand the importance of monetary responsibility, but for economics to be a definition of the health of a relationship seems as ridiculous to me as basing it’s health on any other uncontrollable and fickle system. I don’t know. I guess if a relationship can’t last through monetary adversity, then it has deeper problems unrelated to money.

  7. Thanks for liking Four Seasons Bridal recent post…very much appreciated…Best regards…

  8. What’s more important than money. More important than sex. I’d say… listening. And then next is laughing.

  9. hi
    thanks for stopping by and liking my poem…
    I’ve enjoyed reading your posts
    but although a lot of people get divorced due to financial reasons a lot of people also get married for all of the wrong reasons and don’t know how to give enough of themselves to make it work and truly love another
    and when you don’t marry someone because you truly love them(i think the idea of true love gets lost in it’s meaning) the money just blankets the lack of love when you have it and becomes an issue when you don’t

  10. Money matters. Sad but true. Not because it is MONEY but because money and all the things it brings or does not bring… equals stress for many people.
    SO… if you are the type of person who puts a lot of worth into money… if a lot of your happiness is dependant on money… then your marriage – will be heavily influenced by how well the money is flowing.
    Not because it is MONEY…. because it is stress.
    Interesting post and interesting topic.

    • Growing Up Little,

      yup…you got what I was trying to point out; Its not that money ‘should’ be vital to a relationship…but unfortunately, in our society…money plays a major factor in so many elements of our lives…

      and as you said, money can be a stress.

  11. Commenting on what to look for in a partner:

    My first husband and I knew each other for 3 weeks before getting married. The marriage lasted 29 years. It was both a good and bad 29 years. He became an alcoholic who verbally abused me and eventually the boys, never the daughter [the youngest].

    Family Background – His family was catholic as was mine.
    Age – we were the same age
    Length of Courtship – 3 weeks
    Personality – he was the quiet type, I was/am the gregarious type
    Pre -Marital Interaction – 3 weeks of intimacy, we were both young and I was inexperienced to some degree, he was a little less, but we were only 20 years old.

    What makes a marriage work? Is it money? We didn’t have a lot of money, but we made do. We were loving with each other, as long as he wasn’t drinking.

    I think talking, airing out each other’s thoughts, ideas, fantasies without fear of retribution makes a marriage work. Loving and appreciating each other for who we are makes a marriage work.

    My motto became…HEALTH & HAPPINESS…that was all I wanted in my life or needed. Without both what else is there?

  12. A few years ago my boyfriend asked me if money is an important factor for me when it comes to marriage. As hard as it might sound I said yes. (come on, let’s just be honest!) My family had always been poor which resulted in a lot of fights and discussion over how and where to spend money. (literally teared my family apart!) I wouldn’t want to go through it again. Nowadays I am making a decent living (not rich but I can afford hobbies) and I am not willingly to give up my financial stability and end up in a marriage that brings me right to the point where I started..
    It’s not the most important thing on my list – as your friend said character and faith are way more important. It is on my list though and I’d be dammed to marry a penniless guy who can’t feed his family.

  13. There is a nice saying in Greece:”When poverty comes through the door, love goes out the window”. But I guess the point is a bit different. If you are used in a certain life style or your expectations are higher than the ones you currently are, you might have a problem. But this means that right from the start it was a marriege of convenience for one of the two, and as long as they were money, there wouldn’t be any problem. But you have to come to Greece. Financial troubles have come to most of us, but the ties of the family are in most cases getting stronger. It is a long discussion, and I hate to do a monologue, so next time you are in Greece we might talk about it.

  14. Pre-marriage classes at church- priest asks couple; ” what do you want for your spouse…?”
    So they say money, sex, children blah blah.
    Priest says but what is the best thing you can give each other.
    They look blankly.
    Answer : God.
    God transforms all things, keep God n the relationship and he will keep the marriage together too.

Trackbacks

  1. A Little Blog Housekeeping – How Stubborn Are You Really? | The Culture Monk
%d bloggers like this: