Cussing is evil but calling someone a F** is okay….Really???

Photo by Kenneth Justice - All Rights Reserved (2013)

A World of Words – Photo by Kenneth Justice – All Rights Reserved (2013)

A while back I got together with a conservative Christian family I hadn’t seen in a bit.

Much to my surprise, the father (in front of his teenage daughters) went on a long rant spewing quite a bit of venom against homosexuals. He never used the term ‘gays’ but instead kept calling them f***ts, and no; there wasn’t any kindness in his use of the term (can there be?) at all.

What stood out to me about this ‘christian’ man (a husband & father) is that he’s the type of fundamentalist christian that won’t tolerate any cussing whatsoever. If one of his daughters were to slip out a S**t or even the dreaded F-Bomb….there would be hell to pay in his household.

Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that I have been known to express my thoughts at time using uh…..colorful language. But I do have a problem with christian’s and gay-bashers who use the slur f***t to unleash their hostility toward gays (I also hate the N-word and never use that either.

I don’t have a problem with cussing. What’s wrong with it?

One of my favorite bible heroes cussed like a sailor; King David.

The Psalms are filled with language that you’re not allowed to use in church…..but its all over the pages of this famous book in the bible.

Psalms 69, 109, 137, and 139 are a mere sample of the chapters that contain the type of language my mother would have washed my mouth out with soap.

In ancient times, they didn’t use the F*** word because, put simply; the F*** word finds its origins in the Saxon language of the British Isles so it hadn’t even been ‘invented’ yet.

Thus, the bible uses the course language of its day. What’s wrong with cussing?

I’m not suggesting its cool to walk around and drop F-bombs willy nilly; all things in moderation.

But I do believe that a carefully scripted cuss word can help to emphasize a point your trying to make, and it can definitely add a sense of descriptive color to your language.However, the contradiction of those who demonize cussing yet call gay’s f***ts, and use the term to demonize gays, drives me nuts.

Am I missing something here?

Kenneth Justice

Categories: Correlations & Contradictions, Really???

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

53 replies

  1. A: No, you nailed it.

  2. Pretty much spot on. The only thing I’d add, from my perspective, is that when you say ‘…a problem with christian’s and gay-bashers who use the slur f***t to unleash their hostility,’… I also just have a problem with gay-bashers full-stop.

  3. I grew up Fundamentalist Christian, but I got out of it because of exactly what you have described. It is a group that focus’ on all of the negative, therefore their thinking is negative. It is a very depressing sect, and I was miserable. Jesus was a rebel who taught us to love and not judge. But most ‘Christians’ don’t follow His teachings and example. “Love makes the world go round”; judgment simply causes resentment. As Jesus said, “dont judge the splinter in another person’s eye, take out the rod in your own eye first”. As a nurse, I am embarrassed to say that persons who profess to be Christian are the worst patients. But I truly believe that most of them really aren’t Christians at all. So I beg that you will not put all of us in one category, for I am as flawed as anyone out there and my only difference is that I love and follow Jesus and this faith has helped me deal with horrible illness without bitterness. I certainly use strong words to get my point across, but rarely. When I do, people sit up and listen!

    • Well said…..

      I have more to think through on the issue…but I think I’m in close agreement with you that many of these fundamentalists aren’t real followers of Christ.

      I consider myself a very committed Christian actually…I’m no longer a fundamentalist though; thank god for that!

    • queenL, you have mischaracterized Jesus. He never said that we should never judge. He said we should not be hypocritical in our judgments. The same Jesus who said “Judge not, lest you be judged…” said “whoever shall do AND TEACH

    • …AND TEACH my commandments will be called great in the kingdom.” In the same chapter of Matthew 7 where Jesus says your favorite quote “Judge not lest you be judged” he said “Beware of false prophets who are inwardly raving wolves…By their fruits you will know them.” That requires making moral judgments about people.

    • “Which one of you who has not sinned will cast the first stone?” I choose to allow God to be the Great Judge, for I am hypocritical on every subject of sin under the sun.

    • Jesus did not say “He who has never sinned cast the first stone.” He said “He who is without sin cast the first stone.” The law required a trial and the testimony of two witnesses to execute an adulterer. Also, both the woman AND the man were to be executed. The men who held stones in their hands were guilty of breaking the law for they did not bring the man to stone him or giver the woman a trial and a chance to confront her accusers. After Jesus said “Neither do I condemn you” he said “Go and sin no more.” We are called to point out sin in our world. It’s a shame, by your own admission, that sin has such a hold on your life that you are not in a position to proclaim God’s righteous standard. You can have freedom over sin.

  4. Hypocrites are people who I can NOT stand. This man you describe is one of them. I do not like that word either as well as the N-word. Both are just so derogatory.

    Its funny, just the other day, I said “you b**tch!” while I was driving because some, well, we know what…cut me off pretty bad and almost caused an accident.

    But oops, my 9 year old was in the car. I NEVER cuss unless super super angry, which rarely happened either. So when I did that, his eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped. I felt so bad! But I explained to him that sometimes, words may slip out (and its usually while driving) and that I was sorry to him for letting that slip.

    Needless to say, he got a kick out of it 😛

    • Ha, good story.

      My kids have heard me cuss more than once….but part of the reason is because I don’t yell. My dad was a ‘yeller’ (yes I made that word up lol) and I couldn’t stand how he would yell at my siblings.

      When a big hulking adult yells at a little 3 foot tall kid, it can be very intimidating for the kid and psychologically I believe it can be damaging.

      Thus, when I want to make a point to my kids that they are doing something out of line I might drop a ‘bloody hell’ on them or something of that nature; don’t get me wrong I don’t let out a tirade of curse words, nothing like that.

      Thus, by using an expletive to emphasize to my kids that I’m being serious and its not a time to joke around, it helps me get their attention and they don’t have to suffer from a parent that screams or yells in their face.

      Here’s an example, my 13 year old was being nasty to his 9 year old sister and I had gently said to him a few times that evening, ‘dude, you need to chill out a bit towards her” but he kept on going at it….finally I said,

      “Bloody hell, your being really mean to her”….I didn’t “order” him to stop, I merely commented on my opinion of his behavior, and because I threw the bloody hell in there I finally caught his attention and he chilled out.

      Hey….maybe my philosophy sucks but at least its been working thus far and I have a good relationship with children.

    • “When a big hulking adult yells at a little 3 foot tall kid, it can be very intimidating for the kid and psychologically I believe it can be damaging.”

      Oh so true…this is how my father was to my sister and I. However, I don’t remember it happening much when we were kids, just as we got older, but it was just as intimidating and infuriating for me to deal with. For the most part, he was a kind gentle and quiet man. But whoa unto us if we defied his “authority as the father” (ironic thing was, my mother wore the “pants” in the house). And by defying, that simply meant having a different opinion. I remember all out brawls where it would end with him all puffed up and backing me against a wall yelling in my face, like I was a man.

      He is 62 now and developing alzhiemer’s rather rapidly so I rarely recall those moments anymore. But I do not deny they happened. My sister, has just recently, started to recall these moments and realize that mommy and daddy weren’t all perfection (this has been an argument between us for years, as she has “selective memory” of our childhood). I also do not deny that I was somewhat mouthy, so my parents weren’t all to blame. But the interesting this is, through all these rants I had with him, not once did he cuss. He just pushed his authority as the man and the father.

      Maybe that was worse?

      (sorry to go off on a tangent about my childhood but your topic sparks some interesting thoughts in my head)

  5. People like that are not “Christians” in the purest terms. The go to church and think that will get them to heaven. Christ preached tolerance did he not?1 You smack the metal fastener firmly on its bonce my friend. Well done!

  6. Cp, I concur….though I might add, tolerance within reason…..I don’t want to tolerate rapists for instance 🙂

  7. “Am I missing something here?”
    No, I think you are right on it. This is just the way they are.

    In my opinion the stunned reaction is caused by the false assumption that Christians are per se good people, and therefore this kind of hypocritical behaviour would be somehow off. But once you take the notion that Christians ARE NOT good people per se, then it is just along the line of what you’d expect.

    When I read that what you wrote, that this Christian father is ranting evily about homosexuals using a slur term, but would “raise hell” for his daughters if they would use a commonly used term, that makes me think, “well, that is just how they are”. Period. No astonishment on my side. This described behaviour fits EXACTLY the picture I am having of Christians, so no surprise for me, no wondering why. It is just so. They are just so.

    I am married to a Catholic, a really nice male, American, middle-aged, white. But he is also talking in derogatory terms about homosexuals and non-white people. You know, all those names Americans are no longer allowed to be using. He would never do so in public, and absolutely never in presence of any gay person or any non-white person. No, he is the politest man you can imagine! But at home he lets it all go loose. He is a Christian, and so I am not wondering why he is that way.

    I personally don’t mind it, because I have a way to shut him up! I am German!!! No, not in that sense as many Americans are saying they are German, and then they can’t even pronounce their owns names correctly. No, I am really from Germany, I am an immigrant of 2004. My catholic, American husband is of Slavic descent, and I am sometimes (jokingly) telling him that he shouldn’t talk like that about the f.g.ts, the and the, because in my world he isn’t white either!

    And then I am reminding him that his admired Wehrmacht would likely have made lamp shade out of him, had he lived 80 years ago in the land of his fathers. That will shut him up for a while. It is drastic, I know, but that is how you do it! Give them a dose from their own medicine!

  8. Well, I personally don’t find anything wrong with a curse word here and there, but having to listen to someone who curses is not too great in my opinion.
    I do agree though, that Christians (or for that sake, anyone deeply religious) but think it’s ok to do so when speaking of homosexuals – that’s just hypocrisy. Infuriating really.

  9. judgement, hypocrisy, ugliness, anger…. narrow mindedness, hatred, homophobia, racism…. they sounds like nice people.

  10. Poor frightened little minds, who fear anything they don’t understand and hate anyone who doesn’t look like they look, talk like they talk, eat what they eat, and think like they think.

    Pity them – they are the living embodiments of hypocrisy.

    “The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of an eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract.”
    Oliver Wendell Holmes

  11. Oh man and people like that call themselves Christians. Please!

  12. Interesting post. I think the crux of the issue lies in the fact that there are certain behaviors that for the world at large a Christian should not do. Just like the general public would expect a business man to wear a tie or a philosopher to use dense, complex writing, Christians should not, among other things, get piercings, drink no form of alcohol… and let alone curse. The cultural norm is for Christians to be pretty much uptight, wholesome, and square, and many people both inside and outside of the church find it disconcerting when some Christians break out of that mold. Perhaps that’s why some pastors try so hard to dress casual and youth leaders go for the pencil thin goatee under their lip. Alas, some might go for a David Crowder look!

    Essentially, we should ask ourselves whether we should object to this set of expectations or conform for the sake of our witness. Whether right or wrong, someone may hear you curse and say “I knew it! You see, all Christians are hypocrites”. Scripture talks about avoiding some perfectly find behaviors that would otherwise lead others to stumble. Personally, I let some curse words slip out of frustration, but I do my very best to keep them few and far in between, and most importantly, say them when I’m on my own. This is my viewpoint, but please note that I perfectly understand where you are coming from. I have concerns about this very “mold” that our mainstream culture has developed about what is the Christian image is meant to be, and I would love to hear your view on this.

  13. Ha, I was going to post something like this tomorrow, but you got to it first! So so true…I think a lot of people in general don’t understand the impact of the language they use or choose not to use. Words only have the power that we ascribe to them, and when Christians use that word in particular, they might as well be throwing out the C-word with all the venom that’s behind it.

  14. Thanks for the visit. I find it rather interesting that while the post makes a cohesive argument about judgement and hypocrisy, the response is all about judging Christians. Kind of the pot calling the kettle black, eh?

  15. I’m not religious, but I am tolerant of everyones beliefs… each to their own. What I can’t tolerate is extreme nut jobs (like your friend), who 1-take religion to another level and turn it into something to be feared, and 2-show such extreme hate for another human being. For me, they give religion a BAD name!

    • You are not very tolerant are you? Why should your tolerance not tolerate the intolerant? I think you being the hypocrite you despise.

    • I’m not being hypocritical at all, I have respect for everyone, as long as they in turn also respect everyone! If they don’t, I haven’t got time for them either! Where’s the hypocrisy in that? Quit hating, that’s all I’m saying!

    • So you are intolerant then? You believe you have a corner on truth? You do believe in absolute truth?

    • I am a Christian and your prejudice towards me without even knowing me is irrational especially for someone who claims to be tolerant. There are no such things as “homosexuals” as if they are born that way and don’t have any choice in the matter. Homosexuality is not about who someone is but about how someone behaves. We may not be able to help what kind of sins entice us, but we certainly are responsible for how we behave. God has called the act of homosexuality as sin. I didn’t decree it; God did. If you have a problem with homosexuality being sin, you must take that up with God. If you insist on telling people that it is not sin, I will be one of those opposing that lie. My opposition to homosexuality is not to deprive someone of fun but because I want them to be free from the bondage of sin. Homosexuality is a pernicious evil that turns men into effeminate wimps, spreads disease and decay, leads to mental disorders, increases suicides. I want people to be free from that.

    • Those who say “I don’t tolerate intolerance” believe they have absolute truth but despise the Christian who exposes sin because he thinks he has absolute truth. You can only be intolerant of those who are “intolerant” if you believe you know an absolute moral truth that all intolerance is evil (except for the intolerance of the intolerant, of course).

    • I’m guessing you’re a “Christian” and that you also see homosexuals as evil. I hope you sleep well at night!

  16. King David said he’s not on his deathbed that the dear sons, listen to the heart before
    listening to the prophets bullshit?

    Great blogg
    duranecessitas 🙂

  17. Very well said, I have used the King David analogy several times to the chagrin of those that feel they know better. I cuss, but that does not take away from my message, it seasons it. Nice post Mr. Justice, nice post.

  18. 1st, thank you for visiting my site. Secondly, LOVE LOVE LOVE this article! Good Job! Here in redneck country I hear alot of that! BLAM! I am like, WOW, please actually think like that STILL?? YUCK! Sad for Society!

  19. The sin of homosexuality tends to sicken Christians more than other sins. It may have something to do with how utterly unnatural it is; how it is completely antithetical to God’s design for sex, love and relationships. Instead of using their sexual parts as God intended them, for creation of life, men use them in an orifice for decay and waste. I don’t mean to be crude and graphic for the sake of offending people. The description is apt because homosexual behavior brings nothing but death and decay and not life.

    This reaction to people who behave homosexually may also be a response to the “in your face” approach homosexual advocates are in demanding we legitimize their sin and revere their relationships. The homosexual agenda is forced on everyone including children in schools. That may be why people resort to using slurs like “faggot”.

    As far as your position on cussing, I disagree with you. Paul writes in Eph 4:29- Let no corrupt communications proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Cursing does not edify, but it tears down. On the other hand, some things Christians consider “curse” words are not really sinful to utter. Saying “shit” is not inappropriate if describing feces. What is the difference between saying “poop” or “shit” if describing “dung?” But using it as to express a dissatisfaction at someone or something is inappropriate. In Matthew 23:33 Jesus called the Pharisees “Generations of vipers” or “sons of snakes.” We have a different saying in America. So, either Jesus sinned and is not the perfect sacrificial lamb for our salvation, or calling someone an SOB is not a sin.

  20. Funny how slurs against people who behave homosexually are vilified but slurs against Christians are embraced.

  21. just to make it clear, I agree with Kenneth, not DogTags. You can believe what you want, only when you try to impose your beliefs on other people in the name of religion or morality or some other thing, then you’ve stepped over the line.

  22. Reblogged this on dithyrambs & ditties and commented:
    The Psalms are filled with language that you’re not allowed to use in church…..but its all over the pages of this famous book in the bible.

    Exactly so!

  23. Great post; very thought provoking. I think our culture gets mixed up with our faith a lot of the time. It’s counter our Christian culture to use certain words, but that does not make is wrong!!

    And DogTags- may I respectfully suggest that the reason a lot of Christians view homosexuality as the ‘worst sin’, or as something especially repellant, is more down to their own fears and insecurities. Possibly also self-righteousness in believing it’s a sin you personally would never commit if you have solely heterosexual feelings, so you’re pretty safe calling someone else out for it. In my readings of the gospels I cannot see any evidence for Jesus treating any one sin worse than another- even if one accepts your viewpoint of it being sinful- except perhaps for his condemnation of the Pharisees and how they led people away from God rather than pointed them towards him, and missed the point about the law and gospel being about love and not being saved by our own goodness in keeping a list of rules. It breaks my heart that Christians the world over are heard talking more about sex, in any form, in a negative context rather than the issues Jesus seemed to be more concerned about- justice, equality, the danger of power and money, etc. Ranting about ‘f*****ts* is really, really not going to win people for Christ- believe me on this one.

  24. I think the basic obligation Christians have in their use of language is to edify, build people up, and not tear people down. If cussing can encourage someone who needs it by getting their attention or helping them see some truth they need or just giving encouragement then cussing is the language of love. But if polite civil words are used to deflate and tear down and humiliate, then they are obscenities. When I person says “I am only saying this because I love you” and then shreds you, he is cussing whether he knows it or not.
    I was raised in the South and cannot use a racial epithet without feeling dirty. I was raised by “enlightened fundamentalists” and I still cannot bring myself to use “bad words” even today. I wish I had been taught better how to be kind and sensitive in how I speak.
    You have good spiritual intuition, I think. Thank you for sharing.

  25. Sigh… a lot of these holier-than-all, intolerant Christians are gonna be in for a rude awakening when they get to the great beyond and realize just how wrong “god” — in whatever form — thinks they’ve been in this rare gift of life.

  26. It doesn’t matter who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it only matters that you love —John Lennon….

  27. I think it’s really funny how people of the “church” can treat their fellow man.

  28. I lived in Ireland in my early twenties and people there swear as a basic part of language, so I became pretty immune to its effects. It actually took me quite some time to tone it back to Canadian-acceptable levels. The thing is, the meanings of f*** and sh** are vulgar, but that’s it, really. So I’m not offended by them. F****t and n****r and, depending on how it’s used, b***h, are all personal attacks, which I think are extremely offensive. And yeah, your friend is totally a hypocrite. I’m interested – did you call him out on it? (Ideally in front of his impressionable teenagers.)

  29. So just to clarify, two consenting adult homosexuals are demonised by people that are quite happy to sit and listen to the word of god in church delivered by men who abuse children? And this is cool with Christians?

  30. There is an episode of Spongebob that focuses on “sentence enhancers” it was called Sailor Mouth… I loved it because when it first came out, my daughters were young (and I swear whenever I feel the sentence needs to be enhanced, so this was the perfect episode for me 😉 ). Spongebob and Patrick walked around the entire episode cursing their brains out. I think the lesson I learned from them about cursing is that the words are really just noises coming out of our mouths…

  31. It would be nice if we could all just live in a world where we don’t call people anything other than their name. 🙂

  32. it’s unfortunate that you have chosen to target Christians as being those who espouse anti-homosexual language and behaviour. The whole message of Christianity and the Bible is summed up as this: love God and love people. All people, regardless of sexual orientation, religious beliefs, or anything else for that matter. Love, acceptance and forgiveness. I’m not in a place to judge others, but if someone ran around spouting hate towards homosexuals, and throwing out the f****t word, I would probably want to question their commit to Jesus Christ and His teachings about love towards others. It saddens my heart to see anyone using the Bible to promote hatred towards others!

    p.s. you said: “Psalms 69, 109, 137, and 139 are a mere sample of the chapters that contain the type of language my mother would have washed my mouth out with soap” I’m curious to know what those words were, as I read those chapters and didn’t find anything offensive?!?

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