How Stubborn Are You? Really???

Isn't it funny how a sunrise still looks beautiful even with telephone poles and street signs in the way?

Isn’t it funny how a sunrise still looks beautiful even with telephone poles and street signs in the way?

Last night Kevin from Pennsylvania called me,

(remember the wedding photo’s I posted last week? That was Kevin……uh, the one not wearing the dress, <click>)

Kevin is an avid Big Foot enthusiast, every year he takes a one week vacation to camp out in the forest out in Colorado to search for Big Foot;

1) No he hasn’t found Big Foot yet

2) Yes, Kevin is the subject of more than a few jokes when he is present – fortunately he is good natured and knows how to turn the jokes right back at us;

Hey Kevin, so how did your Bigfoot trip go this year? Are you happy with this years crop of blurry photo’s you took?

to  which Kevin would say,

Hey Kenny, what’s the difference between an Intelligent Psychologist & Bigfoot? Bigfoot actually exists!” —(I have multiple psychology degrees)

So Kevin calls me last night and says, “Dude, I’m digging the website but I wish you’re articles were longer”

So, I’m glad he’s enjoying my articles because it makes me feel a little bit relevant (that is a shameless sentence to get you to <click here> and read my next post on relevance)

 If you have been reading my posts you will notice a theme behind everything;

I question everything

Because I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family I was raised in a culture that didn’t teach me to question everything.

It was a very stubborn culture.

It’s our way or the highway

There was no in-between’s in the Christian society I have always known.

Question your priest, question your pastor, question your parents, and you might just get your head chewed off.

We are right everyone else is wrong

However, this sense of stubbornness doesn’t just afflict Christian culture, it is a problem in all of humanity.

Lots of us are stubborn.

We don’t like to hear that we might be wrong about something.

We don’t like to hear that our view of something as simple as breastfeeding is wrong <click here>.

We don’t like to hear that our view of something as simple as nudity is wrong <click here>

How many parents are stuck in their ways and drive their children nuts with their stubbornness?

Look at the comments in that Violence and Nudity Really??? <post>, Holy Cow! You can get a good idea of the people that don’t like to have their views questioned.

So that brings us to you and I.

Are you the type of person who questions everything? 

Do you think its wrong to question everything?

I used to be a stubborn ass and hated it when I was wrong. I was a know-it-all.

I was a miserable person.

But the funny thing is, when I began to relax my attitude, when I no longer had to pretend that I knew-it-all….all of a sudden my life drastically improved.

I no longer had to pretend that I knew everything about god, life, love, etc.

Instead of focusing so much on forcing my religious and philosophical ideology on others; I started loving others more and caring about them as human beings.

The concept of loving my fellow creatures totally changed my perspective and attitude.

I’m also okay with not having opinions about everything; I used to think I had to have an opinion about everything.

Sooooo… took a long time for me to soften up, I’m still a work in progress.

How about you?


Categories: Really???, relationships

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23 replies

  1. After reading the first paragraph, I asked my wife what she thinks of fundamentalist Christian folks. She shot back “they should be on a deserted island together”. Hmmm, and we are Christians too. Not that kind though. I thought this post was about cleaning up your posts!

    • ha ha…I changed must of changed the title after you clicked on it….It started in one place and then I ended up somewhere else so I felt the need to change the title…you got me!

  2. Stubbonness has its place; just not in vilifying or demonizing others. It can help get us through some pretty tough places if it is applied directly to our own strong determination to complete goals. Though in the wrong hands it can be just as you say.

  3. Hmmmmm, I was inspired by this article and posted something that I wrote when I was 40. Not my best work but want you to know where I came from. Please read when you get a chance. It’s called Learning Humble. Trust me, we all are a work in progress. 🙂

    • My mother lives in Florida and I don’t usually equate Floridians with the “south”. My grandparents live in Kentucky and i’ve been going there for thanksgiving my whole life (this is going somewhere)

      so anyways…the more that i’ve read of yours Ms. HotSouthernMess the more I get a vibe that you have the same down home southern hospitality attitude of my relatives in Kentucky….and thats a good thing 🙂

    • Not trying to hog this thread. LAUGH! I am from Hollywood ( between MIAMI and Ft Lauderdale ) And I used to think the same thing. MY ex ( the one that died) lived next to a Sugarcane field for 12 years. My husband now calls me a GRITS. Girl raised in the South. Yes, but trust me, back in the hollers, off the interstates, IS a Florida rarely seen. It’s all VERY southern. Thanks

    • I have flown into the airport there many times, know the place well.

      Ya know….It wasn’t till I was an adult that I realized holler was actually a slang word for ‘hollow’ lol…all those years I went to Kentucky I thought that living in the holler meant you lived in the country! Yes..I am quite the northern yankee

    • I live in a holler’ now! The neighborhood I live in. And my yard is on a steep grade, real low in the back. To the SW of Ocala. First one I ever saw in Florida but they exist the further north you go! It’s OK, I forgive ya…. my parents are yankees 😉

  4. One of the best things I ever learned, was how to say, “I don’t know.” That, and “That’s a great idea! Why don’t you go ahead and do it.”

  5. i really do enjoy your perspective on things. it’s nice to know im not alone haha. anyway, i can definitely be stubborn (being mexican/irish that comes with the territory haha). i definitely have my moments of being stubborn and hating to be wrong, but over the years i’ve become better about accepting my faults and knowing when to say “im wrong” (it’s still not easy mind you but im better at it). while being stubborn can be a serious detriment to progress as you point out, i think being stubborn in some aspects can be good. those who are stubborn enough to not give up on their dreams or goals is one example, though i suppose that could be more like persistence than being stubborn. a man who is stubborn and won’t just let a woman he wants to date blow him off is putting his stubbornness to good use (although again persistence and annoyance can be a fine line in that instance). as a journalist by day, what i’d say about length of articles – only write for as long as is needed to say what you need to say – if it only takes a few lines to say what you need/want to then so be it. if it takes a “book” then so be it.

  6. As a Catholic Christian, I was taught to question Everything 😀

    The reason is very simple, if one simply regurgitates, there is no conviction. See, Simple!

    But, if you question and ascertain answers, and you “know” then Conviction and Faith follow.

    I am quite pleased to read that you too question, now 😉
    It is a GREAT Thing to question, but let us not stop there…we must SEARCH for Truth!!
    Not wait for it to land on our plate, which many do, they listen to what so and so said and take it as truth, or are influenced by Pop Culture and its views…when I say search I mean really dig, ponder, Pray even 😉
    And the Truth comes ♥

  7. Yep. I’m still softening, still a work in progress, too – and an Anglican Christian. Still asking questions, still exploring. Questioning is, I think, a sign of growth and vitality. Life which ceases to grow, soon begins to wither and die. Faith can encompass questions – and the greatest of all gifts is love. Many thanks for this. Nigel.

  8. Hi, I am from West Germany (born 1963) and we were actually taught in school (6th grade) to question authorities! This was in German class, which was of course not a language class (because we already spoke our native language), but it was about grammatics and writing essays and also about general life topics like that one.

    Our main teacher (female, around 35 then) gave us some ridiculous exercises, and when we were following her orders just like sheep, she stopped us and held a speech about how wrong it is to just do what you’ve been told. This was a big lesson! I have never forgotten that! We were actually told to never follow orders, to question everything and everyone.

    I assume this had to do with our country’s more recent past (“I didn’t really want to kill all those people, I only followed orders, my supervisor told me to do that” etc). I was 12 and it made a big impact on me. I wonder whether my former class mates would still remember that lesson. I have no contacts to them anymore. But to me it was a lesson for life.

    • Hilde,

      wow! what a tremendous example. U.S. Schools are nothing like that!

      It seems like our schools are more about conformity and they don’t encourage questioning authority…..that’s why third parties (in the political system) never do well in the U.S……people have conformed to only voting one of two ways.

      But in places like Great Britain and Canada (and Germany) there seems to be more of an acceptance toward people questioning authority.

  9. In a long ago documentary about the cartoonist R. Crumb, Crumb referenced the fact that culture was becoming something people wore as slogans on their tee-shirts. So with that awareness and not ordinarily a shallow person, I will say that at an impressionable age, I saw a bumper sticker that said “Question Authority,” and I have been every day since.

  10. I have had a fear of “getting it wrong” so I didn’t want to say anything definitely – it was more a matter of “I think”. When I was doing speeches for the Connecticut Chapter of the Arthritis Foundation, people would ask me questions I didn’t know, so I would give me their name and number I would get back to them. I learned to be comfortable with “I don’t know” because I don’t know all the answers and people can tell when I pretend I know. I put a little humor in when somebody asked a question I didn’t know – I would say “Wow! You have blown my cover as the fount of all knowledge!”. Someone in my life keeps asking if I know about something – I have gotten to the point where I say “Does it matter?”. I think it is a way to show this person is smarter than I am. Well, about somethings, yes. But there are many things I know but this person doesn’t, to me that is the the best way – we both have different experiences and knowledge that makes collaboration work so well.

  11. Wow your post was good and some of the comments here all the more enlightening. I still have difficulty saying i don’t know. And when my husband pointed it out to me, for a long time i disagreed..still learning to accept others way i guess.

  12. That’s funny, in my church you kind of get yelled at for not questioning. Matt always says you should have questions and you should be asking them.

    I think Big Foot lives in Bastrop, TX, I swear he followed my friend and I around once. We were excercising though do maybe my brain made it up as an excuse to go get a burger at Applebee’s?

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