~by Kenneth Justice
How do you deal with criticism?
If there is any universal subject that people all over the earth face at some point, it is having to deal with difficult people;
–> People who criticize us
–> People who try to tear us down
–> People who try to shatter our dreams
–> People who don’t like something about us so they go on the attack
Sometimes it is our immediate family who are the ones that try to tear us down, sometimes it is our friends, and sometimes it is our co-workers.
It is one thing to deal with disappointment when it is something beyond our control; we are planning on a drive to the coast and the car breaks down ruining the day…..
Okay, we can deal with that, its not like someone intentionally sabotaged our automobile trying to ruin our day….unless maybe if you are a secret agent or something…..
But, its a lot harder to stop thinking about that co-worker who made fun of you in front of the boss, the best friend who said, “It looks like you’ve been putting on a little weight”, or the relative who says, “You’re such a know-it-all, why can’t you be a better person?”
When people criticize us it bites right down into our skin….
Whether their criticisms have any truth in them or whether they are completely full of falsehood…..it never feels good to be criticized.
Failure is another thing that is tough to get past; you go in to interview for that dream job and you thought you presented yourself so well in the interview but afterwards the interviewer says, “thanks for coming but I just don’t think you would be a good fit with our company”
When people turn us down….
When people criticize us…..
It can have an immediate effect on our psyche…on our emotions.
Last year I sent query letters out to 21 agents for a non-fiction book I’d written….2 months went by and I received 21 form letters, “thanks, but no thanks” each of them said…..
When I was younger, 21 form letter rejections would of been devastating…..fortunately I am older now and the experienced only strengthened my resolve to keep writing……and it paid off. Later this month my first novel will debut thanks to a Indie publishing company that is willing to take a chance on a first time writer like myself…..
This Website of mine is another source of criticism and rejection that comes my way……
While I am so thankful for all of the kind comments that my readers post…..
I definitely get my share of hate-emails….which I usually don’t make public as its not my intention to ‘go to war with those who don’t like what I say’…..
I read some of the criticisms and I think to myself, “This person completely missed the point of the article I wrote” or “Why are they so closed minded that they can’t see what I’m trying to say”…..
My initial reaction when I get readers who attack me is to be defensive…..so that is why I rarely send emails back to those people….Its not that I don’t value their criticisms…its because I don’t want to be that person who comes of as a defensive arguer…..I try to let my articles stand for themselves….and I am thankful that there are some people out their who appreciate what I have to say…..
The other day someone made a comment on one of my articles and they said I was, “Ridiculing” people who didn’t share my view……was I? Comments like that make me pause and wonder….
Criticizing in its classic sense is okay; analyzing ideas, situations, and people is a good thing to do….
But, I want to be careful that I don’t become the person who is unfairly criticizing people….
Otherwise….I would have to write a critical article about myself and you know how I can’t stand people who criticize me!
Fortunately, I can smell a fresh cup of Veronna brewing…time for a coffee break!