by Kenneth Justice
~ Last week I was watching one of those typical films where the bad-guy-stereotype tries to hatch some ridiculous nefarious plot but is stopped by the hero of the film who happens to also save a beautiful damsel in distress and they fall in love during the process….
My 11 year old daughter (who was watching the film with me) remarked during the lovey-dovey moment of the film, “How come they are kissing already? He just met her!!” My daughter has made similar comments about other films, “The girls in these films always fall for the guy before they even know him!” she says
As you can see, my 11 year old isn’t too keen on getting hot-and-steamy with someone you’ve only just met…..But that is what our Culture seems to encourage….doesn’t it?
–) Casual sex
–) No strings attached
Aren’t those supposed to be fulfilling? Aren’t those things supposed to be what our baby boomer parents fought for during the free-love concerts of the 1960’s?
Yet……the further we get away from the 1960’s the further we get away from community…..You see….I’m all about community. While I’m not about to say community is the sacred cow that all other elements of culture should bow down to…..I do believe community is one of the more important components of a culture.
When we talk about feeling disconnected, lonely, isolated, and unloved we are usually talking about things that are interconnected with the quality of the community we enjoy…..or lack thereof.
I don’t need to tell you that Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social networking thrive off of our natural-born instinct toward community.
We are social creatures
We need positive forms of community.
—) When community in our real life is lacking…..we look for it elsewhere (enter Facebook)
—) When Social Networks fail us in our quest for community….it can leave us feeling even more disconnected and confused…..
“But, what does that have to do with casual sex?”
Very simple; When a culture exchanges meaningful relationships with casual sex…..people can be left feeling a little bit lost…..When a culture exchanges meaningful relationships with casual community, people can be left feeling a little bit lost. Actually, treating anything important as nothing more than ‘casual’ can wreak disastrous consequences to many facets of a culture.
Last year while I was working at the rehab clinic I came face-to-face with hundreds of men who had wrecked their lives with various forms of addictive abuse…….and in between all of their stories I began to see a thread that tied each of these people together -> a lack of positive community in their lives
I must have heard at least 2 dozen men tell me, “I don’t need friends“. These men LOVED casual sex…….and they seemed to treat everything in their lives rather casually;
—) casual jobs
—-) casual friends
—-) casual family
—-) casual community
Much of my time was spend asking these clients, “Don’t you think you need to value your friends, family, community, and job a bit more than you currently do?” While some may think this article is all-about-sex….I would say, not necessarily…..
On the one hand; yes, I’m concerned with where this casual sex mentality might be taking us as a society…..But I’m also concerned with where this casual-community mentality is taking us also. If you’re familiar with my writing you know that I’m not about condemning….and that I’m all about asking questions…and this is what today’s post is all about; a question.
Do we really want to keep pursuing a casual approach to life or is it time to start being a bit more serious?
I’ll tell you one thing, I’m never casual about my coffee and I think it is time for another cup
Categories: Culture & Society