by Kenneth Justice
~Don’t you just love those friends who ignore you for months….maybe even years….and then when they are feeling especially bored they give you a call?
Or maybe they are all of a sudden going through some kind of emotional situation and they know that if they call you…..you’ll be sure to forgive their conspicuous 8 month absence and offer them a shoulder to cry on?
These types of friends are like David Copperfield – with the touch of their magical fingers they type in your cell phone number when they need you.
For the most part…..I’m a pretty laid back person
And even though it annoys me when friends treat me this way; my response is to always be forgiving…..right?
Do other cultures practice this kind of disappear – reappear friend routine‘?
If only I could figure out how to do this magic-trick when it came to paying my bills!
I’m not going to lie to you….. I have quite a few friends….I’m very thankful for them….
But, just because I have a lot of friends doesn’t mean I don’t get annoyed by the disappear – reappear friend routine’
Oddly enough….today’s post isn’t about friendship…but rather; consistency
Fact: a high percentage of us struggle with;
–) feelings of isolation
–) feeling that we don’t know where we are headed in life
–) feeling that we have grown too old
–) feeling that our life is slipping away
–) feeling that we don’t have a lot of friends
–) feeling that we want to change our job situation but don’t know how
….and that’s just to name a few!
I’ve pointed out many of these cultural conditions in previous posts but I don’t always offer solutions…..
(mainly because I don’t have a lot of solutions! and Hey, I’m only a lowly Masters Level Psychologist…….I’m not Sigmund Freud!)
However, consistency can be one way we can begin to get our life out of idle and move forward
One element of consistency are traditions which I discussed yesterday
Another element of consistency is……..being consistent!
Instead of being the David Copperfield friend…..we can be more consistent in our friendships
Instead of living a haphazard life….
we can seek to find a consistent rhythm;
–) go for a walk at the same time each evening (or the gym)
–) end each day with a night-cap (or a decaf coffee like me!) and reflect on the things you are thankful for
Essentially; Create New Traditions
When I worked as a substance abuse counselor I became increasingly aware of how attached my clients were to the ‘tradition’ of getting wasted
They found a sense of comfort in the familiar taste of Jack Daniels or the feeling of the needle puncturing their vein
My chore was to challenge them to find new traditions….new levels of consistency that were more positive snorting a line of cocaine or getting plastered with their friends all weekend long
But……our culture isn’t too keen on consistency….is it?
Turn on a television and you’ll see commercials that tell you that you’re unhappy;
“Buy this NEW shampoo that will make you feel sexier”
“Buy this NEW car so you’ll be happier”
“SALE at the Macy’s! Buy NEW clothes so you’ll be more content”
Western Culture is all about throwing away the old for something new……
Sometimes this is okay…..right?
But when it becomes a way of life……..you might soon find yourself staring in the mirror at David Copperfield
In the spirit of consistency I believe it is time for another cup of coffee,
Categories: Culture & Society