by Kenneth Justice
~Do you ever experience those moments with people where you realize someone has been talking for a few minutes……and you have no idea what they just said because you were completely zoned out?
Yesterday, I ran into a coffee house acquaintance I hadn’t seen in awhile and before I realized it; she had gone into a nearly 10 minute update on the ins-and-outs of her on-again / off-again relationship…..and I hadn’t heard one word she said.
Of course, this particular acquaintance has broke-up with her boyfriend so many times and come crying to me in the past that I can imagine what she may have said;
“I finally realized the relationship was unhealthy”
“But I just missed him soooo much”
“I’m better without him”
“But I need to be with him”
For a split-second I felt guilty for having zoned out….but a quick sip of my coffee and the guilt subsided….
I wasn’t trying to be rude toward this acquaintance and fortunately I knew the right buzz words to to pick up the conversation as though I had been deeply invested in her monologue,
“So, do you think you and the boyfriend are moving in a positive direction now?” I asked
I really don’t mean to sound sarcastic or rude toward this young female acquaintance of mine….but I have slowly become more and more aware of a new addiction that young people are experiencing; Addiction to love……and it is one of the addictions in life I hate the most.
I earned my Certification in Chemical Addictions Counseling a few years ago and I am becoming ever more convinced that the same types of addictive behaviors people express towards chemicals like alcohol and drugs…….are also the types of addictive behaviors they are experiencing in their relationships.
A lot of young men and women have love addiction.
Whether it is because as a child their parent(s) were alcoholics, un-loving, or simply just s****y parents, these children grew up in environments that were not conducive to the necessary nurturing they needed and now as adults; they are addicted to feeling in love.
One of the key components of love addiction is that these people value their boyfriends (or girlfriends) more deeply than they value themselves…..
This is why they tolerate unhealthy relationships; because they don’t have a healthy respect for their own self.
The reason I have a difficult time dealing with people who are addicted to love….is that these people are often in greater denial than an alcoholic or drug addict.
And lets be honest; people who are in denial can be difficult to deal with….right?
I hate denial……A lot;
–> Relatives who treat you like s**t and refuse to realize how annoying they are
–> Co-workers who are busybodies but think they are awesome employees
–> Managers who have no people-skills but think they are ‘all that’
–> Religious leaders who fail their people but think they are god’s gift to humanity
So to all of you people living in denial, how bout a cup of coffee this morning with a shot of truth instead of creme and sugar!
Personally, I like my coffee black,