Together with you…..




by Kenneth Justice

~ In the past week two different friends  both confided in me their desire to be in a serious relationship and ultimately married.

One friend feel’s that they are getting a bit older and that they have ‘waited long enough’

My other friend expressed the feeling of loneliness, “It’s really hard coming home to an empty house”

For those of us who have had serious relationships in the past or are currently in a serious relationship…..we know both the joys and sometimes the pitfalls of being in a relationship

Ultimately, for many of us the joys far outweigh the pitfalls

Although our sex saturated Western Culture tends to overemphasized the sexuality aspect of relationships……I have found conversation to be one of the most awesome elements of a relationship.

One of the things I love about being in a relationship is traveling. I enjoy traveling with my spouse, my children, and even my friends.

One of the coolest aspects of traveling with someone you love is expressing your delight to each other; it’s not enough to merely see a beautiful waterfall together in a distant land, we tend to say out loud to each other, “Wow, what a beautiful view” and then we talk about that view for many years to follow, “Remember that trip we took to Ireland and the day we visited the Cliffs of Moher?”

Perhaps this is why I have kept some very long-term friends in my life as well; I really enjoy meaningful conversation.

Rarely a week goes by that I don’t talk to my two closest friends once or twice throughout the week……I have been friends with them since I graduated high-school.

However, I fear that conversation in our culture is slowly becoming antiquated…..conversation is becoming a thing of the past.

–) As I said last week, I’ve noticed among young adults a great proclivity among them to hang-out together in silence as they sit and stare at their smart phones

–) But even among adults…..I see more and more men and women who spend far more time in front of the television or playing video games than they do enjoying meaningful conversation

Our lives our busy…..I get that…..I’ve even written about the busyness of our lives at nausea; but at a certain point don’t we need to step back and begin pursuing deeper and more meaningful conversations with each other? If we don’t……what will be said about our culture when future generations look back at us?

Perhaps this is why I’m drawn to blogging; it offers me an element of conversation that is a tad bit deeper than 140 character texts or Facebook updates about what I had for breakfast……

Yet even blogging has its limitations; as much as I enjoy this medium, it can never truly replicate the joy of sitting with a close friend, or even a new friend at a cafe while we enjoy each other’s presence.

When it comes to blogging we never look back and say, “Remember that time we were blogging together and we saw that beautiful waterfall?”

As much as I love blogging it does have its limitations….

We humans are ‘social creatures’; we thrive on being connected to each other via a social experience.

Yet not only are we social creatures; we are tactile creatures. We love it when our five sense are stimulated.

–) We enjoy being touched

–) We enjoy smelling beautiful aromas

–) We enjoy hearing sounds

–) We enjoy seeing beautiful things

–) We enjoy tasting beautiful foods

The Internet and television are able in a limited way to satiate two of our senses; sight and hearing……yet the other three senses are left unmet

This is why the Internet and television are limited in their ability to satisfy and fulfill us……and it explains why a good cup of coffee with a friend at a cafe seems to be filled with so much more meaning and depth than spending time on the Internet or watching television.

When all five; touch, hearing, smell, taste, and sight are stimulated at once the depth of the experience is heightened in our realm of senses and the impact on our memory and joy is so much greater…..

Perhaps one day I will meet many of my blogging friends outside of the Internet and we will enjoy a cup of coffee together and ruminate over the experience for years to come……

But as it is, I am thankful for even this limited connection with the many people I have met via the Internet and am thankful for the positive elements of the Internet…..

I only hope that many of us do not forget that the Internet and electronic media can never truly replace the joy of a face-to-face relationship…….

The Internet can never replace the joy of a good cup of coffee…which is what I’m about to enjoy right now.



Categories: relationships

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

27 replies

  1. You make so many valid points. Will technology eventually cause us to lose touch with nature?

  2. The art of conversation. Slowly dying.
    I’d love to meet in person many of my blogging friends. Coffee and friends, always a good combination. 🙂

  3. While you’re enjoying your (well-deserved) cup of coffee, I’d like to thank you for the follow and for your likes (past and present !). Greetings from Marseille, France, from a woman who, maybe, will meet her lovely followers for a nice cup of chocolate !

  4. this is exactly what a friend and i were talking about (in real life).

    i’ve been craving for every experience to be a five senses experiences lately.

    well said, again.

  5. Lovely post Kenneth!! It touches on our humanity, it’s relatable to everyone. Conversation is seriously lacking in alot of peoples lives, I know sometimes it does for me. Sharing in a meaningful conversation is how we connect and relate to others; the more you share with someone, the more you know each other, the closer you get. It’s a cycle of positivity. Much to think about after reading your post. Thank you. Now for my own cup of French roast, brewing as I write this….

  6. It’s true that Internet can never replace the joy of sitting together 🙂

  7. This exact sentiment is why we still have dinner at the table together (not in front of the TV), we vacation with our best friends (group travel is so much fun!), and take walks…lots and lots of walks. Don’t get me wrong…we watch TV and play video games together, too, but we make a concentrated effort to actually enjoy the company of the ones we love. I suspect there are a lot of people like us out there. I wonder if conversation is really going away or if it’s just happening more quietly in smaller groups?

    • Nerdinthebrain,

      “I wonder if conversation is really going away or if its just happening more quietly in smaller groups?”

      perhaps…..but i fear that it is slowly fading away when we consider the amount of time that people spend playing video games and watching television is on the rise.

  8. great post! i couldn’t agree more especially given how isolated i am and not able to have as much face time as i would like with friends and family so i settle for what i can get. i do agree also with the lack of conversation – i keep hearing how so many prefer to just text instead of taking the time to talk on the phone. it’s depressing. i hope that things turn around. i love a good conversation and having face time also helps “read” a person better, get a better sense for WHO that person is. phone time or even internet time just isn’t the same that way.

  9. very well said Kenneth… I will say that not being in a relationship for several years now I crave the little things… oddly enough it’s not the sex I miss, its the conversations and even the silent understandings… I miss the making of memories with someone…

  10. It reminds me a bit of Wall-e, our culture nowdays. We do so much on electronics, that we have little life outside of it. Of course, we aren’t as bad as the people in Wall-e, but eventually we could be.

  11. Interesting that the 5 senses do not include conversation. I also feel a lack of deep conversation. I have friends and loved ones and we gather for dinners and what-have-you, but the conversation is so…..dull, generic. I want to give and take ideas, concepts, joy!

  12. So true! It’s such a shame, cause conversation (face-to-face, not via a screen) is so important. I feel conversations keep my relationships alive. I prefer seeing and talking to someone in real life to texting them. It’s such a difference… I hope people will never forget how important a good talk is in this world of social media!

  13. Agreed. This “Friends with benefits” concept has brainwashed all of us. I doubt, any relation can remain platonic these days. Great article, mate.

    I just read annapurna base camp

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