Is that REALLY normal???

is that really normal

by Kenneth Justice

~This past week I’ve noticed a few out-of-the-ordinary things occurring around me;

–) On Saturday morning I went to the outdoor market and I noticed a couple Rasta-guys (who run a stall selling incense and whatnot) were passing around a joint right in front of a cop….last time I checked we haven’t officially legalized marijuana…but the cops don’t care I guess

–) On Monday I stopped at a gas station (Petrol for my European friends) to fill-my-car-up and there was a couple parked next to the building having sex in their little Honda Civic…it was around midday

–) At coffee on Tuesday a 30ish woman walked in to get her morning Java wearing a lacy see-through blouse….and nothing on underneath, she got quite a few second looks to say the least

–) At coffee yesterday morning I walked in to find a man in a business suit completely passed out on the floor of the bathroom….sound asleep

One of the fascinating aspects of studying culture is asking the question; “What is normal?” Every society that exists on earth lives by various rules and standards and it is these ‘norms’ that help to bring a sense of civility to culture;

—) Don’t murder

—) Don’t grope stranger

—) Don’t steal

The ‘norms’ are often different from one society to the next. Among Brit’s for instance it is considered ‘polite’ to allow for a little distance between each other while talking….but among many Arab countries it is considered ‘normal’ to stand very close together when in a discussion.

Living in the United States is like living in a salad bowl; we have so many different people, races, and cultures all coalesced into one big culture. Of course there are some areas which are still rather isolated (such as rural-Iowa) but since I live in a Metropolitan-area I’m surrounded by men and women who come from a plethora of cultures.

And it is often difficult to determine ‘what is normal’.

In fact, the question of ‘what is normal’ is often turned into a issue of public debate as people from various sides of the aisle argue incessantly on the subject of what should be legal or ‘normal’ for a society and what should be considered illegal or ‘abnormal’ for a society.

—) It wasn’t that long ago when homosexuals were labeled ‘abnormal’ and throughout much of the United States engaging in homosexual behavior was against the law

—) Drinking alcohol was considered a ‘morally wrong behavior’ and ‘destructive’ for society and during the early part of the 20th century the U.S. outlawed it, leading to a dark period in American history

So what is normal? How do you figure out what is normal and what is not? Is everything subjective and is there nothing normal and nothing abnormal? Is there any objective standards we can appeal to determine normal behavior?

One of my struggles while working in the human service field was that I often found myself disagreeing with the psychological elites when it came to their pronouncements of what is considered normal or abnormal.

The psychological community has determined that people who do not possess the necessary psycho-social skills to coalesce ‘naturally’ when it comes to communicating with others in Western Culture are suffering from a disorder they label; Asperger’s…..to which I ask; REALLY???

Why is it that if you aren’t born with a naturally charismatic personality and an innate ability to talk with strangers then you must be suffering from an abnormality? Why does the psychological community get to determine what is normal and abnormal?

In college I wrote no less than 40 essays refuting the findings of Asperger’s Disorder in which I argued that perhaps the problem is not people who have been labeled ‘Asperger’s’….perhaps the problem is Western Culture.

Perhaps Western Culture values things like ‘Charisma’, ‘Charm’, ‘Good looks’ and other similar qualities…too much.

Perhaps Western Culture does not place enough value on, ‘Intelligence’, ‘Logical thinking’, and people who are more ‘Introspective’.

Why does everybody have to be the same? Can’t we allow for the fact that there are different personalities all throughout society?

Yet the sad fact of the matter is if you are not naturally charismatic or outgoing then you will have a more difficult time succeeding in many elements of the business world and social world…..so isn’t there a problem with the ‘norms’ we have created for our culture?

Instead of electing leaders who have great charm or charisma…..maybe we should start valuing other qualities. Think about it; if you are not naturally photogenic or a good public speaker…than you won’t do well running as a politician and being on television.

Many psychologists believe that John F. Kennedy beat Richard Nixon in the Presidential election because of how they both looked on television; it was the first ever nationally televised presidential debate.

Hey, I’m not some Nixon supporter….don’t get me wrong, but I really question whether or not we should be electing leaders because they look good on television or because they are eloquent speakers!

So where does all of this leave us? Honestly, I’m not really sure. It seems to me that we need to have a new dialogue in Western Culture with regards to ‘what is normal’ and perhaps we should change course from where we have been heading.

For now its time for another coffee,

Kenneth



Categories: Culture & Society

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53 replies

  1. There is no normal it now seems and everything is relative and the pc and Hollywood agenda termites continue to be successful in painting normal as abnormal especially Christian based behavior. Makes normal people disgusted and drives them to the abnormal far right of the political spectrum, a place they might not normally embrace. .

  2. yup… once a liberal.. now moving toward the other side. Trying to find balance.. but I am not sure our society is even capable of that at all!

    • ” Trying to find balance”

      it seems like we live in a society of radicals; too many people want it ‘there way’. And not enough people looking for a balance in society

  3. Ha Salad bowl, just like the Netherlands here.
    And here is one for those with masters and diplomas and what not just so they can say I am right.
    “In order to have us all be the same they first need to establish a ‘Normal’ base line, which is exactly what is the problem we cannot solve”.
    Let them break their head over that. Vegetarian. or meat eater, just to name one. Meat fine. Pork, beef or fish or maybe all of the above. and we are back to the clashes of religions.
    I think we all look at it the wrong way around. We focus to much on a single thing and missing the whole picture.

  4. Reading your post I am reminded that many of the people who moved from Europe to North America did so because they were members of religious groups which had problems in the ‘old’ world, and much of what they tried to define as ‘normal’ was based on their religious beliefs. They wanted their beliefs codified as the correct/normal/only way to live, anything else was anathema to them.

    You say ” Drinking alcohol was considered a ‘morally wrong behavior’ and ‘destructive’ for society and during the early part of the 20th century the U.S. outlawed it, leading to a dark period in American history” – this followed from the religious groups in America. Alchohol consumption was not considered abnormal outside the USA.

    My mother (who is 89) and I have discussions/arguments about gay people . She is adamant that they are ‘not normal’ and that by demanding ‘same-sex marriage’ etc they are trying to imply that they are normal. Well I disagree; in all societies it seems that approximately 10% of the population are gay. That figure never seems to increase or diminish by much, so may be that is normal. And if it is, we should allow those who are part of that 10% to live ordinary lives.

    So is there a definition for ‘normal’ ? – no way. It shifts and changes from age to age, place to place, person to person.
    You conjugate it thus:
    I am normal, you are odd, he/she is completely barking mad.

    • “it shifts and changes from age to age”

      Quite true……and it does seem that when the puritans moved to the ‘new world’ they were dead set on creating a society based on their view of what was ‘normal’…..didn’t many of the europeans try to force European styles of dress on the native Americans?

  5. WOW…all that in one week! It seems that moral codes are changing faster than I realized, it’s a shame.

    I, like you, abhor the term normal when describing people, why do we have to label in the first place? Like herschelian said, normal changes. I think the idea of “not normal” enters in when different generations, beliefs, etc. collide.

    Completely agree people should be valued by their content and not their looks. Television has corrupted more things, faster…than any other medium combined.

    One of the reasons, I enjoy blogging…you can’t see the blogger unless they post a pic. You can’t see the qualities in them that make others have a possible incorrect first impression. You cannot see the color of their skin, their racial preference or physical abnormalities. All you can see is what is in their heart and minds…and you go forward from that point.

  6. There is no normal; each one of us is born with a different brain and personality and we should be allowed to make our own personal decisions as long as they do not harm or affect others negatively. Too much is legislated that should be matters of personal choice. One cannot forge a society and cultural norms by force, especially one as diverse as ours.

  7. I so dislike the word “normal”. I am so often told how i used to be “normal”, doesn’t that mean that I am not normal now. Drives me crazy. Everyone is different, everyone has their own walk in life, and things change. For me, it was circumstances. I became someone I never used to be and my personality is now changed. The things in my own life I used to see as normal, now have changed. As a society, we try to label people and labels are for bottles and cans. Did I veer off course of your topic? I probably did, sorry. =) I always love your blogs, you make me crave more coffee and I love how you end with…. REALLY??

    • “Did I veer off course of your topic”

      no you didn’t; it would seem logical that as we mature in life our beliefs, opinions, and attitudes will change…..so people saying to you that ‘you used to be normal’ probably could simply indicate that you have grown up….right?

    • coffee clap applause! =)

  8. I wrote about this the other day – it’s a perception thing; a packaging problem.

  9. As a mother, I am heart broken to see how our society treats my two daughters differently.One is very beautiful and very charismatic. She gets treated “all good” (no matter what her behavior which is not always nice). My other daughter does not look like the ads. She was teased ruthlessly as a middle schooler. Special schools and programs just to keep her away from bullies.She is very intelligent, socially aware, reads voraciously and works hard in college. I say she has Asperger’s because I watched the whole brain development process. She doesn’t read your face. She moves awkwardly through space. She has the emotional maturity of a person 10 years younger. Will she be able to live her life in this judgmental society?
    She is not their “normal”. She is an angry young girl. Someday she may accept help. Right now she thinks you are all abnormal.

    • I’ve had exactly the same experience with my children. Two daughters, totally different and given totally different reactions from people. It does break my heart for my girls at times but we use it as fodder for personal growth and self examination. The “beautiful”, “Charming” daughter I have is well grounded and appreciates the value of other people, not simply her own. She idolizes her elder sister who was diagnosed with Aspergers and they are the best of friends, getting closer as they grow older.

      Like yours, my daughters will have perhaps polarly opposite experiences in life but my prayer for both of them is that they take even the “manure” that society shovels in their direction and use it as fertilizer for their souls.

      You know what *really* hurts me to think of though? All those kids suffering with these types of stigma’s that *don’t* have loving, involved, aware parents to help guide them through the maze of social acceptance as opposed to self acceptance.

      Your girls (and mine) are blessed to have that in us in their lives but we are doubly blessed to have them in ours.

    • Biochicklet,

      having traveled just a bit outside the U.S….I wonder if your daughter wouldn’t enjoy life living abroad. Other countries are a lot more laid back when it comes to issues like this.

  10. “Perhaps Western Culture does not place enough value on, ‘Intelligence’, ‘Logical thinking’, and people who are more ‘Introspective’”

    Maybe it is just so…

  11. It is my belief that there is no such thing as normal. We are all unique and have our great qualities and problems. My package of traits is different than yours or anyone else’s. If people believe I am not normal then so be it, I am still that bundle of traits and have the thoughts that I do. I think this is a culture dilemma. I try to accept everyone for who they are, because who am I to judge them as “abnormal” or “normal” . I don’t know anything about their past, problems or difficulties. We are all just people doing the best we can to figure all this stuff out. Thank you for the thought provoking topic this Thursday.

    • “My package of traits is different than yours or anyone else’s”

      ha ha well i’m sure everyone is glad that their not stuck with my sucky level of traits 😉

      seriously though I agree with what you’ve written 🙂

  12. Isn’t psychological health defined in terms of social norms? If so, then isn’t psychology simply about better fitting people to society? If so, then the issue wouldn’t be (for example) Asperger’s being classed as a disorder, but rather attaching undue significance to disorder to begin with, as if a psychological disorder were some universal criteria of goodness.

    It’s all about how well adapted we are to our situations. What’s healthy in one situation is pathological in another, and given our differing values, goals and worldviews, even the same outward situation is not really the same.

    One criticism of mainstream psychology I repeatedly encountered was that it aims too low. It tries to get people back to a state of “ordinary unhappiness”. It defines itself in terms of the least healthy individuals.

    What about aiming for happiness, society be damned? What about defining itself in terms of the rare exemplars who are worthy of emulation?

    Maybe some of the so-called disorders are signs that people are seeing something true. I read somewhere that people who were depressed were not seeing things in a distorted way. Rather, they saw things as they were, which is why they were depressed, and the therapy consisted of getting them back to their deluded state so they could continue to function. What if an attempt were made to use the depression as an opportunity to transcend the usual pursuits and maybe find something greater?

    • “One criticism of mainstream psychology I repeatedly encountered was that it aims too low. It tries to get people back to a state of “ordinary unhappiness”. It defines itself in terms of the least healthy individuals”

      Okay, you win The Culture Monk ‘stellar comment of the week award’….sorry I don’t have anything to send you

      Your comment reminds me of a conversation I had this past summer with a licensed social worker who works with the homeless and VERY poor population in my community. When I told him, “Look dude, the people you’re working with are depressed because the best job they can hope for is a fast food job that pays 8bucks an hour and isn’t enough to change their life one iota”

      to which he had the ignorance and audacity to respond; “well my job is to make them accept the fact that this is their life, that it can’t get any better, and that getting drunk only makes it worse”

      I said, “Cmon dude, getting drunk is the bloody highlight of their life!! they don’t need you to counsel them they need you to help them find a good job, a house in a SAFE community, and better life”

      he ignored all that I said.

    • Thanks! How about some coffee for a prize? 😀

      As for your conversation with the therapist: good point. I’m guilty of this too. For example, if strangers ask me for money, I assume they’ll “just get drunk”. But what if being sober isn’t helping them? What if drunkenness is their only joy?

      Besides, I don’t hesitate to treat friends to beers. All else remaining equal, why am I suddenly worrying about this when it comes to strangers?

  13. To me being normal is being smart enough not to offend those in your company . . . and making sure that those advocating political correctness at every turn never find themselves in that position. . .

  14. Normal is imaginary. 🙂 What you said about Asperger’s reminds me of conversations I’ve had several times with my BFF…we are both pretty extreme introverts, and, sadly, our society is not set up to value introverted behavior. I see my step-daughter really struggle with this too…she’s introvert through and through, but people are constantly trying to force her into situations that make her uncomfortable because those are the things “normal kids her age” do. I’m not sure where the lovely balance is between forcing our ideas of normal onto other people and avoiding see-through tops in public. 😉

    • “sadly, our society is not set up to value introverted behavior”

      as a counselor issues like this frustrated me a lot because clients would be sent to me who I was supposed to ‘fix’ yet I didn’t see anything ‘wrong’ with them.

      our society has determined that being introverted is ‘wrong’ so anyone who is naturally introverted suffers….talk about injustice! Yet, being introverted could very well be a positive attribute; such people see the world differently and see things that outgoing/charismatic people NEVER see.

  15. I usually read your blogs first thing in the morning but I caught this one just as I was sitting down with my lunch and I was so thrilled to see your highlighting the stigma attached to people who have traits associated with autism that I haven’t touched a bite yet.

    Thank you so much for an encouraging and refreshing outlook on a topic that most people view through a very narrow and confining set of eyes.

    I’m going to use what’s left of my break to read the previous comments. As you know, this is a topic that’s near and dear to my heart.

  16. Great insights. I never knew that about Asperger’s. What a trip! What it all comes down to is, you’re “normal” if you are me. If not, you need to change and be like me. We certainly can’t have people going around being different than me for heaven’s sakes. 🙂

  17. I agree that there are too many diagnosis of things like Aspergers but on occasion, it does actually fit the bill. Some people are more than just “socially awkward.” Someone who doesn’t exactly fit in, at least in my mind, is not the same as someone who genuinely has a processing issue such as Autism or possible Aspergers. It is a fine line especially when you take into consideration that everyone is different so it’s not like it’s an easy read. We do tend to put too much emphasis on what we consider “normal.” Normal is difficult to define because the truth is, no two people are exactly alike, not even identical twins. They may look the same and have a special connection, but they do think differently and ultimately behave differently. I’ve told you last time, I think, in terms of labels, people can’t handle my just being short, somehow I HAVE TO BE a little person, but I’m not. There is some ridiculous need to categorize, label, compartmentalize people. Any “outliers” just sends us into some kind of frenzy lol. As for those other “oddities” – well, I don’t know what to say about the virtually naked woman – how anyone walks around in that kind of shirt and not think it inappropriate is beyond me lol but maybe that’s just me. Of course, if she had at least been wearing a bra it might not be as bad. As for the car sex – that’s certainly normal enough lol plenty have done it and during the day – just how many have gotten “caught” is the question. The guy passed out – definitely peculiar. I would love to know the story on that. Maybe the cops thought the joint was just a rolled cigarette? Who knows. I find it more interesting that it all happened in the same week. Maybe that’s unusual or maybe it was just the first time you paid any attention to those behaviors and so it seemed abnormal. 🙂

    • every time you mention something about people thinking you are a little person It is so hard for me not to crack up……what is wrong with people???

      autism is a really tough subject because while elements of it are definitely scientific….a LOT of it is also subjective….so wading through what is ‘fact’ and what is ‘subjective opinion’ is a long and arduous process.

    • lol i don’t know kenneth; i think that’s what your blog is about right… trying to figure out what’s wrong with people? lol

      im sure it is a tough topic. psychology is a tough topic in general to pinpoint because it’s an imperfect science. it’s so variable for lots of reasons. maybe one day things will get narrowed, but who knows.

    • I am little too.

      I passed out once in the doorway to some ladies toilets. Here’s the story. I was having lunch and my companion happened to scratch her face on the cheap napkin. It drew about a pinprick of blood, but it was enough to set me off fainting, so I walked towards the ladies and just before I fell, I managed to bang my head on both sides of the door frame before passing out. Several ladies walked over my body without stopping to inquire if I was ok, I was told. I got up, brushed myself off and resumed my lunch.

    • oh my! I don’t get how people just don’t even bother to check on someone like that. Just not nice or considerate. Glad it all worked out though. And… let little people unite! 🙂

    • Thanks very much for your kind comments. Have a great day!

  18. America is definitely “a salad bowl.” Even in smaller towns there are people from all over the world. I think it’s wonderful that we have so many different cultures in this country. And asking “What is normal?” makes sense, because sometimes “normal” according to a society changes over time. Social norms can change when the norms become outdated. And the definition of “normal” can vary depending on the person, also.

  19. I live in Washington state, and right now, the state is grappling with issues of regulating and taxing marijuana, now that it is legal. There’s more to it than just this, but I trust that you and those interested will look up what the AP and other news sources have to say about it.

    Also, while I can believe how we view Asperger’s and autism spectrum disorders (Asperger’s now falls under the umbrella designation of ASD now, by the way) could be distorted by how we view extroversion/introversion and the “rugged individualism” myth, I want to tread VERY CAREFULLY on this subject. I have a cousin with Asperger’s, and a son, and a nephew, both diagnosed with autism. Personally, I think what’s happening (based on my experience) with the autism community is very positive– there IS discussion on it being a “different” way of thinking, especially among self-identified “Aspies”.

    I would like to read your essays, Kenneth, if you still have them archived. I’ve got lots and lots of time, being on disability. I’d like to understand more where you are coming from. I don’t think Asperger’s and high functioning categorizations of autism will ever fully go away, but, as we deal more and more with collectivist societies of Asia, yes, we should look at how their paradigms contribute to our culture, and how a consideration of collectivist and introspective perspectives are worth our time.

    • ” would like to read your essays, Kenneth, if you still have them archived. I’ve got lots and lots of time, being on disability. I’d like to understand more where you are coming from”

      ha ha well, because of my various degrees I’ve written somewhere between 1200 – 1500 essays varying in length from 2 pages to 80 pages….a lot of it is very technical psychological s**t filled with endless citations from psyche journals and if you ask me…80% of it is kind of boring unless you spend your afternoons reading Research Journal articles. I used to have to read 20 – 30 research journal articles a week and it was mind numbing. A degree or background in statistics is a must….

      nonetheless, before I ever release my essays I would have to sort through all of it because you have to realize that in psychology most of the essays you write are not “your own” opinion. In many of the courses the prof’s don’t even want to know your opinion…they want to make sure you know what the ‘research’ allegedly ‘indicates’ (i.e. proves)….

      Thus, the only way I could ever release them to the public is if I went through them all and added cliff notes explaining ‘my personal thoughts’ on each section.

      President Obama has been given a lot of hell for not releasing his own college essays but I totally understand where he is coming from. The college experience has much less to do with writing about what you believe…..and is more about writing what you are told to write about…….

      Hopefully that doesn’t sound like a ‘cop out’ to your request

      :0)

    • No worries. I spent just enough time in academia (but not as a graduate student, sadly) that I recognize a lot of what you’re saying. I do know that’s how a lot of scholarship and study goes: rehashing further what the given “authorities” in a field say, what the scientific research supposedly reflects (but is biased by views of said “authorities”).

      I was a liberal arts student for the most part when it wasn’t about music and education, and in some ways, I think it’s worse, as the arts are much more subjective, and many are much more at the whim of what the elites dictate. I could go on for pages about how music schooling alone is horribly broken and bears little resemblance to the training of most working musicians.

  20. Normal or just acceptable behavior for where you are? Normal changes from place to place and country to country. Whatever our thoughts most of us conform in some way. I did a post tonight about why big boys don’t cry. It is because it is not “normal” at least where I live it isn’t. But that doesn’t make it right.
    As always enjoyed your post, always food for thought.

  21. Mercy, this is a loaded post… – the wifey

  22. You have made several very important points here..
    As for Nixon, I kinda wish he had went down with Checkers.

  23. To be honest, I am past caring about what is normal and what is the opposite behaviour. I am in a situation where I am surrounded by people displaying “strange” behaviour, but I am used to it now and it doesn’t bother me at all. It is only irritating when I am expected to be doing some kind of a job in their company, and the constant interruptions which I can deal with when I am not working, disrupt my working pattern.

    Apart from this, I am perfectly happy having these people as friends. They are the kindest, most thoughtful individuals I could ever hope to meet. When I was under a great deal of stress, I encountered from “normal” people, what I can only term as “chicken” behaviour. “Chicken” because hens tend to peck the weakest bird in the flock. So normal, abnormal, or whatever, I don’t much care.

    Still, I enjoyed your post tremendously. Thanks for that, and also for your interest in mine.

  24. Thank you so much for addressing this. I was recently seeking a diagnosis of Asperger’s, as my research made everything just click into place, then I found some amazing bloggers on WordPress, whom I relate to in so many ways. The more I research, the more I do believe it’s a problem with society, not me. I just need to contextualize my past to fulfill my potential. It’s a lot to sort out.
    Basically, I am torn about the new DSMV criteria. I am emotionally and intellectually on the cusp of realizing my potential, but, try as I might, cannot get finances in order. I hit the PPD/NOS wall with diagnosis. I only want assistance getting proper housing closer to work, and to pursue my education, but I’m too functional to qualify for disability-related assistance. As a person who feels I have a calling to be a mediator and healer, I stand at a crossroads, literally, and figuratively, unable to move, spirit straining to soar.
    While I no longer feel that there is anything wrong with me, my social and executive function issues have kept me from being successful.
    As one who believes that social programs should be a hand up, not a hand out, I would like a diagnosis which would allow me to obtain that assistance.

  25. Not sure if this is on-target or not, but this post and a recent news story (about a parent calling out a football coach for “bullying” when his team bested their rival by a lot of points to zero) remind me of an old science fiction story I read in college (wish I could remember the title and author). It told of a time/culture when “equality” had come to mean making sure no one was better than anyone else. The government determined a “normal” level of athletic, artistic and intellectual ability and “helped” those who were naturally above that level to become normal. The “help” involved things like heavy prostheses for dancers or athletes who were naturally more graceful, implants that randomly made a distractingly loud noise in the ears of folks who were smarter or more logical or more musically inclined. Everyone was “the same”, but only those who were at the lowest level could be “themselves”. The story frightened me badly at the time – I was not feeling very “normal” – and our current cultural path scares me even more. Thank you for another intriguing post!

    • The story you are referring to is ‘The Handicapper General’ by Kurt Vonnegut Jr, and I think all young people should read it, it is intensely thought-provoking. When I read it many years ago I thought he was trying to make a point about the fact that all men (and women) are NOT created equal and that society cannot make them ‘equal’ no matter how they try. I did not think of it in terms of normal/abnormal, but you make a good point as it does work for that too.

  26. We humans are basically pretty simple one. We love it when we can divide quickly the things we encounter in life. Is this good things for me, or is it bad for a long time was a pretty important question, because our survival depended. Today of course we are civilized, but our old habit from the beginning of the Incarnation we do not want to store. From this corner comes the desire for classification, as also “normal”. Normal is what makes the majority of it. A curse is when the normal majority suppresses the abnormal minority. A blessing is that normal can ever changeable. Who knows, maybe someday we’re so far that abnormal for us is normal.

  27. Even though I trained to be a psychiatric nurse (in the late 70’s) I had never heard of Asberger’s, until 6 years ago when I started my graphic design degree… suddenly (in an art/design school setting) people with Asberger’s were everywhere! I was, being a natural cynic, pretty skeptical of the term/definition/diagnosis to start with, but quickly recognised these people as being in what I had been taught were the autistic grouping… they were clearly mildly autistic, all of them, yet always extremely talented creatives. My best/favorite tutor was a physically/mentally beautiful woman, whose Asberger’s bordered on actual autism, she was clearly dysfunctional by ‘social norm’ parameters, yet she was really honest, funny, extremely intelligent/talented and cool (totally un-pretensious… never played a single game, unlike most tutors), she was an awesome tutor, because she only told the truth, no matter how blunt (she was oblivious to any offense she caused), if she gave you an A, it was because you deserved it! So, I disagree with what you seem to be saying, that Asberger’s sufferers are unattractive/un-charismatic/non-leaders.
    Also, if you’ve watched I Am Fishhead, those charismatic leaders are the real dysfuctionals, not the Asbergers people.
    I’m not sure that you are saying Asbergers sufferers are ugly, stupid non-leaders (rather, that that’s the common perception), and I’m pretty sure you are saying the charismatic ‘leaders’ are not necessarily the best choice for leaders. I apologise for any offense if I’ve got it wrong, but my experience with my gorgeous, extremely talented tutor totally changed my understanding of Asberger’s… to the degree that i would say people like her are superior to any Obama or Bush, any day, in every way.

    • “I’m not sure that you are saying Asbergers sufferers are ugly, stupid non-leaders (rather, that that’s the common perception), and I’m pretty sure you are saying the charismatic ‘leaders’ are not necessarily the best choice for leaders”

      that’s the general jist or idea behind what I was getting at 🙂

  28. What has the picture at the top of the post got to do with your post? Is there something wrong with orange t-shirts?

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