Nobody Cares…REALLY???

Nobody cares really

by Kenneth Justice

~Do you ever feel that all the hard work your putting in is simply being ignored….that nobody values you and all that your doing?

—) A lot of employees feel this way at work, as though their bosses or managers simply don’t respect all that they do in the job

—) A lot of spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends feels this way; that their significant other doesn’t truly value all the time and energy they put into the relationship

—) A lot of children feel this way; that their parents don’t truly value how hard they are working in life, school, fill-in-the-blank

Its really difficult when we go through life and others don’t seem to value how hard we are working towards moving forward. It can feel like we are standing all alone on a street corner playing music; giving everything we’ve got….and people ignore us and walk by as though we don’t even exist.

When we go through struggles in life, and we all go through struggles at times, it can make the situation even tougher when it feels as though nobody cares about us….that nobody cares about how hard we are trying to keep our head above water.

Recently, a coffee house acquaintance told me, “It just feels like nobody cares about me. Everyone seems so consumed with their own problems and I often feel all alone…..stuck in the vicious cycle of my struggles…and it would just be nice if someone put their hand on my shoulder and said to me ‘hey, I can see how hard you are trying…keep it up’

The simple fact of the matter is that a lot of us are working hard through various situations. Many people find themselves divorced and raising children, others find themselves working hard in their job trying to overcome debt, others are struggling with health problems and are trying to stay mentally healthy in order to deal with their physical problems…..and if we feel alone in the midst of our problems; life can seem even more tough than usual.

When I was traveling recently I snapped that photo of the man playing the Sax after I had been standing at a distance and watched him play for more than an hour…..during that time not a single person complimented him on his music, not a single person dropped a coin in his hat. We were at a very busy intersection and thousands of people walked by…yet nobody stopped and appreciated the music he was playing……nothing…nada. However, he just kept on playing.

I asked him about this and here is what the Sax Man said, “Its in my heart to play music man, so it doesn’t matter if anybody else cares….god cares” and he kept on playing. Whether we are religious or not I think we can see the beautiful attitude that the man exemplifies; sticking with something in the face of adversity.

Whether we are a writer, a painter, a poet, a parent, fill-in-the-blank…..whatever we are it doesn’t matter if we feel like nobody cares….we should just keep on playing….right?

There is something beautiful about what we are doing even if nobody else ever appreciates it. If you are a good spouse, good parent, good worker, or good artist…..even if nobody else cares….you can still find value in what you are doing. There are a lot of things in life where we must stay faithful in spite of whether or not anyone else ever appreciates us. That is a part of the maturation process…right? Not doing something in order to get accolades from others…but doing things because we know they are the right thing to do.

Obviously it is really tough to keep faithful in something when we feel all alone. And unfortunately, the statistics tell us that very high percentages of people in Western Culture feel all alone….they feel lonely. Perhaps those among us who do not feel all alone…..should take that extra few moments each day to stop by and have coffee with a friend or to make a phone call to someone who really needs to hear some encouragement.

Too much of life here in the Western World is discouraging. Turn on the NEWS and you are likely to feel discouraged. It also doesn’t help that the Western World is so individualistic; our attitude is too often ‘every man and woman for themselves’. Perhaps its time for more of us to break out of the mold that we’ve been forced into and do something out-of-the-ordinary;

—) Perhaps we should tell the person playing music on the corner “I appreciate you”

—-) Perhaps we should tell the single mother, “I really appreciate all you do for your children”

—-) Perhaps we should tell our children, “I really appreciate you”

Sometimes a simple word of encouragement can really change someone’s life……sometimes a good conversation over coffee can really brighten a friend’s day…..

which reminds me, its time for another coffee,

Kenneth

 

 

 

 



Categories: relationships

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72 replies

  1. I really appreciate you, Kenneth. And I was very moved by this post, this morning. Thanks.

  2. What a great way to start the day off, this post has a great message.

  3. Thank you!! I needed to read this am as I was feeling very invisible.

  4. It is the kind of society we have created. Work your asses off to be agnolaged. But it is the top brass who recieves the golden handshake for the hard work you done. If we do not think of ourself and be greedy and selfish we end up in the gutter, that is what is being taught. Something to be ashamed of.
    And on occasion we find a sax player loving life by doing what he loves the most. And for that I write even if it means having only ONE reader, that alone is a gift.

  5. To be validated and to feel heard are so important for all of us. It’s essential to our growth. It may sound silly, but I live by a simple rule, pay 3 compliments a day to someone you know or complete strangers. It can go such a distance in making others feel good about themselves and in turn it takes nothing away from me, in fact it fills me up knowing I have made somebody feel good about themselves. Try it out sometime, it’s amazingly therapeutic!

    • Jessica,

      if everyone did that this world would definitely be a different place

    • Absolutely! We all need this and we all deserve this. I’ve found that the people who are most cock-sure and full of themselves are the ones who need a pat on the back the most.Even the guy who is doing what he does regardless of whether anyone cares, still needs to know someone cares. These simple gestures can make a world of difference. They cost us next to nothing and make the world a better place.

  6. I do believe that taking the time to acknowledge those things in life that you appreciate, those things that move you, cause joy or happiness, even encouragement in the direction of a more ideal scene…acknowledging those things pays back great dividends in terms of your own personal happiness.

  7. I love this post and really appreciate the sentiment. Recently I’ve been trying to keep in touch with friends, make more time for family because whatever your life amounts to in the end it is the people you share it with that make the journey worthwhile. Even the musician on the corner you may never meet again can say something so incredibly inspiring that you have to stop and think its still a beautiful world, with lots of beautiful people in it. Lets remind someone who cant see that right now. Thanks Kenneth for posting this. It fills me with hope. Have a wonderful day 🙂

  8. Great post, such a wonderful message and reminder, thanks Kenneth!

  9. To be able to appreciate others and make a heartening comment to them we must first be ble to appreciate ourselves and put ourselves outside our own problems for a moment or two.

  10. Splendid… just so apt. What can be so disheartening, is that because it’s free, a kind word or support is a choice. Too few choose not participate. It’s not for me to say if that’s right or wrong, I have my preference, but life would be rather more wonderful, if people chose to be a little more considerate. It’s not a time or effort question – it takes equal amounts of both to do either…

  11. Nice one man, good post. We all feel a bit like that at times. Peoples interest in my blog seems to be tailing off after the honeymoon period, and I’m feeling a bit “Hey Guys! Where are you?” but it’s all good. As long as I have my wife and son.

    Thanks for liking my post anyway dude, you rock!

  12. What do you believe guides your perseverance in your chosen action? I shared my doubts about my own abilities to perform my chosen service. Then someone showed up that needed me to be there. No one else would have helped in quite the same way. So it isn’t so much those persons I wish would tell me I am doing great. It is the resulting grace. I believe encouraging people is needed as much as breathing. I don’t hold my breath waiting for those that won’t give me recognition. I wait on the corner for people like you to show up. You always do.

  13. Since this is a writing forum I’ll use that, but it would be the same for every artistic thing I do . . . . I love it when people read my stuff, but really I do it for me. I love it when people appreciate me, but I love myself and appreciate myself anyways. . . . the only time I lose the joy of all this stuff is when I attempt to sell it.

    • I want to also say that I blog for me but if I am posting it online I have to admit that I am writing for someone hoping to connect. Otherwise I would just save it to Microsoft Word. I don’t know if anything we do is truley for ourselves.

    • I think everything we do is for ourselves . . . as well as others.
      and you are correct in saying we post things to be read, but that IMO is secondary to the joy of creating.

    • Mr Johnson,

      great comment. A fellow blogger friend has said to me, “why write to nobody” so I agree with you…we all write online for others to read :0)

      Blogging is tough work, its not easy to build an audience, even tougher to keep an audience.

  14. This timing, once again, is perfect. Often times, I find myself wishing for a pat on the back only to realize I haven’t given one out in a long time as well. Ingratitude is one of those things – it feels bad giving and receiving. I’ve found one of the best things I can tell my students is, “I understand where you’re coming from. I know how you feel.” For some reason, it resounds more than anything else. To be simply appreciated is such a basic human need.

  15. ❤ Love it. I appreciate what you do and thank you for reminding me to be more appreciateive of those around me.
    I will be sure to let 3 random people know today that I value them, on top of my family and loved ones.
    Cheers.
    😀

  16. Reblogged this on Writings of a Mrs and commented:
    Grab a cup of coffee and take a seat and give this a read.

  17. I think the sax guy has a point. If we feel we aren’t being appreciated, maybe we should question our motives by turning within and asking the following:

    “Why am I REALLY doing X? If it’s because I love it, then I don’t need appreciation. If it’s because I want appreciation, then X isn’t really important to me — the approval of others is, which means I just put my well-being in the hands of people who are often fickle, unreliable, unthinking and even treacherous while simultaneously expecting NOT to be disappointed. If I want X AND the appreciation of others, I’m aiming for an often contradictory situation, which is worst of both worlds. I need to pick ONE motive and stick with it.”

    So the key here isn’t the purity of one’s motive, but the singularity of it.

  18. Thank you for this. There are so many blogs I read that make me consider so much in a different light. I have always believed that a smile, light touch and a simple acknowlegement goes so far in this world. I aim to work harder at it. Blessings!

  19. This is a great post. As much as the words of the sax player resonated within me in terms of loving what we do and doing something for the sake of it, I was also caught by the theme of support, encouragement and validation. Sometimes it feels as if we have forgotten how much we all create each other – as a collective effort. It’s a peculiar feeling when people around you simply don’t care either way about what you are doing or things that are important to you. Then we all wonder where everything went, while we weren’t looking and did nothing to nurture it. Yet it can be amazing how much someone or something can be brought up and out of itself by simple support and interaction.

    On a logical or practical level, there is something about yins and yangs where creative arts are concerned, I think. The words which mean nothing unless read by someone. The music never heard. The paintings in the dark. These things beg for their counterpart, the reciprocal action.

    I find the world increasingly cold, and it both distresses and worries me.
    Then I find a place like this blogging world, or online forums (or a local open mic night) and see people putting themselves out there, and people smiling, clapping and encouraging each other on and it puts a little bit of heart back into me.

    Thank you for this post.

  20. If you are feeling unappreciated, guess what? So is someone you love, If you are feeling lonely, guess what? So is someone you love. If you want it, give it and you will find it. In all our focus on differences, this post really brings to light how we are all in this together. Thank you!

  21. Its how I feel often thank you for this post. To be acknowledged means the world..

  22. I love this post. You’ve captured something beautiful here with the saxophone player. Happiness shouldn’t be equated with recognition (although it can be a nice bonus).

  23. I really loved this!! they way you used simple words to explain very huge problem we face as human beings in this tough life.

  24. I have come to know quite a few local musicians in my area and always make a point to go up and talk to them after their set to tell them how much I enjoy their much and thank them for what they do.

    It’s important to me to show my appreciation and often I think it means a lot to those musicians.

    The world, and the people in it, need more appreciation.

  25. Some of the most innovative people in their chosen arena aren’t appreciated for their work for years until they come about something that is able to connect their work to a receptive audience. In order to gain true appreciation it takes perseverance! You can’t be doing it for the appreciation itself, you have to be doing it because you know it’s for the greater good! Isn’t that why you write these?

    • “in order to gain true appreciation it takes perseverance”

      right on

    • Jason,

      “you have to be doing it because you know it’s for the greater good! Isn’t that why you write these?”

      hmmm, maybe I just don’t know what else to do with myself while I drink my morning coffee…….

      seriously though, great comments Jason

  26. I loved this post! Even a simple thank you goes a long way towards making someone feel that they are appreciated. 🙂

  27. This was perfectly timed for me… thanks! I’m at such a weird spot in my life… again lol, so it’s nice to be reminded and encouraged that I can keep going, even if it’s on my own. It may just have to be that way for a while so I have to buck up because I can be my own best friend. 🙂

  28. Sometimes it gets discouraging when the people around you make it seem like your work is not worth their time, but I guess the man is right — we should just keep doing what we’re doing. Besides, when we started doing the things we love, nobody knew about it. Why should we let people’s attention (or lack thereof) change the way we feel about what we do? Thanks for this post! 🙂

  29. I just discovered your blog, it made my day. Thank you!
    I live in a country where people are so busy with themselves that they don’t have the time to say ” hello, how are you?” It can be very depressing and it is easy to become zombie: me,myself and I.
    The world would be a very different place if we just stop for a second and say to someone on the street or in the train “Have a great day!”

    • “It can be very depressing and it is easy to become zombie: me,myself and I.”

      More and more people feel this way….it breaks my heart that I can’t give everyone in the world a hug 🙂

  30. Kelp cares, my friend.

  31. You have a beautiful mind. I cant get enough. Thank you for this!

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