I can’t help you when you’re smashed…

are you kidding me

by Kenneth Justice

~ Last night at coffee a dude wreaking of liquor kept interrupting me and my friend as we were trying to talk, “Everyone in this god da*n world are mother f**king god da*n ass holes!” he said numerous times…over and over. He was half-talking to himself as well as trying to talk to every customer that walked by his table.

Initially, we tried ignoring him because we knew he was drunk and was probably at the café trying to drink coffee in order to kill his buzz……but the dude simply wouldn’t stop…. and finally, when he sat down at the table directly next to us he got worse……

After being heckled by the guy for nearly a half-hour I couldn’t take it anymore and turned to face the dude,

Look man, either you shut up and nurse your buzz quietly or I’m going to throw you out of here” I said

The guy seemed shocked that I confronted him so confidently and he quickly retorted, “Oh yea…..we’ll you’re a just another god d**n ass hole yourself!” he said

Ok dude, that’s it, I’ve had enough” I said. I walked over to the manager, and I being a regular at the café told the manager I wanted him out because he was simply another drunk being belligerent; and so the manager and I grabbed the dude and (gently) ushered him out of the place.

Today is Thanksgiving morning here in the United States and over the last couple decades a new ‘tradition’ has arose all across America in which the night before Thanksgiving has become one of the biggest bar nights of year; everyone gets smashed.

I’ll be honest with you; I’m not against alcohol at all….I’m not a big drinker (I tend to prefer coffee over liquor) but I don’t have a problem with people going out last night to drink together and have a good time. I tend to only drink a few times throughout the year and rarely do I ever have more than one glass of wine at a time.

Unfortunately, the drunk dude at the café last night was an example of someone who took the drinking to excess……he went way ‘beyond having a good time’ to being nothing more than an annoying drunk guy.

I can’t speak for other cultures but if there is one particular word that seems to describe my country its excess; us American’s have a habit of going overboard;

—-) We are one of the most overweight of all countries

—-) We have the highest divorce rate of all countries

—-) We consume more gasoline (petrol) than any other country

—-) We love holidays that allow us to gorge ourselves on food and alcohol

Hey, I am definitely not judging anyone who wants to eat a ton of food today….I’m not even saying that there is anything wrong with enjoying a little bit of excess at times……but am I really wrong to think that our country is trending toward taking our excesses to extremes? Is it just me, or are people getting worse when it comes to rudeness, drunkenness, and all the other types of excess that exist in our society?

I had actually planned to write a simply Happy Thanksgiving article this morning and ponder some kind of ethereal happy thought…..but as I spent Thanksgiving Eve having to deal with a drunk dude at one of my favorite café’s…..it gave me the opportunity to think about this sad aspect of the holiday; excess.

After we got the drunk dude out of the café a young woman from across the room came over and asked if she could sit down with us, “Thanks for throwing that guy out of here” she said, “Earlier he was sitting next to me and he kept cussing at everyone who walked by and then he started saying inappropriate things to me

As the young woman sat with us we ended up learning that she is a Naturopathic Physician who abandoned a promising career in traditional medicine because she became concerned about our country’s attitude toward prescription drugs; “I’m not against prescription drugs, but I feel like we are using them too much. I feel like we have an attitude in the United States where more drugs are good and less is bad” she said.

Essentially; she feels that we going to excesses when it comes to prescription drugs…..and as I’ve mentioned before; 70% of Americans are using prescription drugs; which definitely seems like a lot of people.

What could of been a bad thing; having to deal with a drunk dude…ended up being a good thing because it allowed my friend and I to meet the young woman and have an interesting conversation.

Isn’t that how so much of life is; bad things can help us to bond together.

—-) Tragedy can bring us closer

—-) Difficult times allow us to lean on each other

So as I sat here this morning drinking my coffee and doing the whole ‘what am I thankful for’ bit…I thought about the drunk guy. As much as he annoyed me last night, I’m thankful that he gave me an opportunity to ponder a few deeper thoughts about life…..because I would rather spend my time thinking about the things that matter most; then getting s**t faced on liquor…..

time for another coffee,

Kenneth

 

 

 

 



Categories: Culture & Society

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

61 replies

  1. A wise man listens. However, far too many minds today cannot function to hear because they have been clogged up with alcohol and drugs.You did the right thing.

    Happy Thanksgiving

  2. Insightful and accurate, I think. Surely there must be a deeper meaning to life, eh?

  3. Have a fun day, stuffed turkey on today? Really~ wishing you a very very happy Thanksgiving! Thank you too

  4. Molestation of someone’s freedom is just grotesque, and you are partially right, even a good thing can become destructive if taken to excess. But genius may be the exception: In the words of Goethe or Blake or whichever it was “The pathway to wisdom lies through excess”.
    I leave you with a passage by Bukowski:
    “Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It’s like killing yourself, and then you’re reborn. I guess I’ve lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.”
    Great post!

  5. We should learn to appreciate the smaller things in life.everything excessive is bad. No matter how big we make it or want it. It will stop us from liking the little things and never having enough of the bigger things.
    isn’t weird that negative things bring us together. Wouldn’t it be nice of a good thing like a cup of coffee would bring us together instead of a drunk.
    As for medicines we keep creating new illnesses that way, but that is what I think.
    Cheers on the coffee, inspired to make me a new one.

    • Oops and on the note of being thankful. I am thankful for my coat, keeping me warm, full of memories and all the things I done al the things that make me strong. simply being Thankful for life and the things it is teaching me.

    • “isn’t it weird that negative things bring us together”

      Yes! It’s always fascinated me….I remember being in college and having this absolutely awful professor; the professor was so bad though it bonded all of us students together and we experienced a really close bond that I’d never had with fellow students before

    • Something i said in my monday post as well, that fear brings us a bond, a sense of being equal and togetherness. A negative again.

    • Dude that is so true….makes me think of animals; certain animals when they get afraid will huddle closer together

    • I ran into Typical today. I went to the coffee shop to get away from crowds and I was successful until three women sat down. First, they were talking turkey and discount seasoning from TJ Maxx-which I found humorous, because you gotta know they’ve been doing the same routine the last twenty years; but then they began complaining…I’m not sure what about exactly, because I have my earbuds buffering. I wanted to say, “Aren’t you supposed to be thankful today?” And I thought it was sad, because you gotta know they’ve been doing the same routine for the last twenty years.

      Anyway, I think “positive think” is the way to go. For every negative find two positives and be glad you don’t have to live inside the bodies of the people giving you cause for sore emotion, because look-it “You get to go home and forget about them if you choose, but they have to go home and live with themselves.”

      So it’s unfortunate. But I’m going to help those who want to help themselves and leave the rest in the mess.

    • ” . I went to the coffee shop to get away from crowds and I was successful until three women sat down. First, they were talking turkey and discount seasoning from TJ Maxx-which I found humorous, because you gotta know they’ve been doing the same routine the last twenty years; but then they began complaining…I’m not sure what about exactly, because I have my earbuds buffering. I wanted to say, “Aren’t you supposed to be thankful today?” And I thought it was sad, because you gotta know they’ve been doing the same routine for the last twenty years”

      I love the story! Sounds like a typical day in my life; sitting at a café people watching, listening…..and thinking about life 🙂

  6. Reblogged this on The Couture Mannequin and commented:
    *Xxx Love this post!! So true

  7. Interesting that you noted that bad things can help us bond together.

    I woke up this morning and had similar ruminations about gratitude and things in my life that I am grateful for. Of course when you look for things like this you can’t help but think of the hard times as well.

    My greatest joy in life was my daughter…as in many families we went through some very bumpy roads and joy would have been the farthest description of the emotions I felt during those times.

    So many valuable lessons and gifts of life were learned during those hard times. Gifts that allowed me to see and grow, eventually coming full circle. So much so that what I have become today is a result of what I have been in the past…and for that I am truly grateful…because I can say once again that the greatest gift I have…is my daughter.

    • Mrs P.

      Awesome example….I didn’t even think of the difficult times with children and how that can bring us together closer over the long run……it’s in the face of adversity that we can often build even closer bonds

    • I have a son with autism. I love him fiercely even though some days his challenges are tiring and wear thin on my patience.

      Both my children– my son and my daughter– are too smart for their own good, but I love them both very much. My life is definitely richer with them, and my wife, in it.

    • Yes, you would understand what I am talking about…I have an idea of what you deal with on a daily basis and admire the strength it takes to be a good father to your children…and then to save a little extra for your wife, too…very challenging indeed.

  8. I agree with you on your topic and content. Though I agree with you, I still tend to look at the overall picture and deduce that we are all, by very nature, stuck in “self-giving”. No matter what beliefs you follow or which country you live in, this is the way humanity is.

    Having lived outside of the US I do know how we get looked at, as a whole, by the outside world–and it isn’t as good a reputation as one might think. In fact, we get laughed at for our “excesses”–yet, what began as the good intention of giving freedom to all–and make no mistake about it, this freedom is a good thing–it still prompts us into the “everything is free” mode. How can it not?

    I don’t think that’s an admirable thing, yet there is so much good in this country that, I feel, outweighs the bad. After all, there isn’t anything out there that is perfect–no country, government, lifestyle. Life is tough stuff.

    The young man needed to be escorted out, for the consideration of others in a place that promotes relaxation and unwinding–I think a few more of us could use a little more relaxation and unwinding by looking at what is REALLY important in life–and that most certainly isn’t the mighty quest for the almighty $$. Take that away, and we are all different, aren’t we?

    Taking away the negative distractions to redirect focus, might aid the rediscovery to what true thanks is all about—I assure you, many in other countries know this very well–as they can only dream of the bounty that fills our tables today.

    Blessings and Peace.
    Dana

    • “I don’t think that’s an admirable thing, yet there is so much good in this country that, I feel, outweighs the bad”

      I guess I have mixed feelings on this. I’m reminded of that verse ‘weep with those who weep”….and because I spend so much of my life interacting with people on the bottom….I find myself spending more time weeping than being able to look at the good things that are happening elsewhere….

      so I’m not disagreeing with you….merely saying that because I spend a lot of time down here at the bottom where people are hurting it can often be difficult to see all those good things…..

  9. I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. It is a lot more fun when there is no excess.

  10. I am thankful that the drunk didn’t attack you. All that cussing is the outward sign of deep seated anger. Smashed unfortunately is an adjective for what drunks do to everything around them. I got a visit from a woman that was destroying her life and her child’s with excess alcohol use yesterday. Her last drunk was Halloween and she says she needs my help. I have a drunk who is putting lies about me on the internet. It is a very dangerous mission to help drunks. Under the “influence” they are suicidal and homicidal, no exaggeration. There but the Grace of God go I.

  11. Not only do we do everything to excess, we brag about it, from extreme sports to super-sized fast food to billionaires run amok. Excess has become a marker of our culture consciously as well as subconsciously. Your drunk is probably tweeting about his marvelous night even now. “In your face, dude” is our national motto. My face is tired.

  12. I agree with you about excess, we’ve become the essence of excess, and it’s gone too far. But, I also think that for some people holidays just bring out the worst in them and they turn to substances to either deal with family issues or to deal with worse scenarios like being alone on the holiday. As annoying as that guy was, he was just trying to be heard in a rude way, mind you, but isn’t that what we are all trying to do?
    Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving!

    • “But, I also think that for some people holidays just bring out the worst in them ”

      I suspect your right Jessica….it sucks but that is the way it is in so many circumstances

  13. When one looks at the marketing industry and how they have used some very sophisticated psychological theory, behaviorism and studies of body / mind responses to stimulate our desires, it is no surprise that when subjected to such psychological warfare form the cradle that people eventually find themselves, in a constant state of ‘want’ which then expresses itself as excess in consumption.

    Did you know that babies have been placed in CAT scan machines by marketeers to see which shapes they find ‘more addictive and stimulating’ to help the major ‘brands’ ‘own them’ (marketeers language!) from a young age?

    • “Did you know that babies have been placed in CAT scan machines by marketeers to see which shapes they find ‘more addictive and stimulating’ to help the major ‘brands’ ‘own them’ (marketeers language!) from a young age”

      wow I had never heard that before?? I’m going to google it and see if I can find a couple articles about this

    • Documentary is called, Consuming Kids – The Commercialization of Childhood.

      27 mins-ish to 30 min-ish

      I made an error it is MRI machines that are claimed to be used. You should find some article references by using the keywords cited in that documentary.

  14. “Anything worth doing, is worth over doing.”- Jim Morrison ….but we know how that ended.

  15. Stop beating yourself up Yanks, you’re pretty special in your way 🙂 Enjoy the turkey and all the horrible stuff you put with it, dear oh dear…

    Hi K, nice piece

    • What’s wrong with mashed rutabaga/Swedes?

    • rutabaga??? I don’t think I’ve had that in years…..Its been so long I can’t remember what it tastes like

    • I don’t think anyone in my wife’s side of the family likes it very much, but my wife and I like it fairly well, and MIL made it special for me because I asked.

      Couldn’t help myself mentioning it partly because you had a previous comment from a Scotsman pointing out the original Celtic traditions with Halloween, including carved rutabagas instead of the pumpkins more plentiful in the Americas.

  16. What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger!
    I’m thankful for my health and for everyone around me. I pray for the poor and the sick people. I’m not gone think about drugs and alcohol today(biggest problem this days)Today is 101 years of Independence of Albania.
    United Forever!
    In good and bad we stick together!
    I wish you Happy Thanksgiving and have a glass of wine 😃

  17. Very true indeed! I hate it when I see drunk people making fool out of themselves especially in a small society such as ours where alcohol is forbidden religiously. I always say that if we drink, we do it without excess and that is it so you wouldn’t go around hurting people or ruining their nights.

  18. I lead a moderately extreme life. It’s not for everyone but it works for me more often than not. One of my favorite mantras is “Moderation in all things, including moderation” – generally attributed to the Roman author, Petronius. Oscar Wilde also said something similar.

    • I’ve definitely led an extreme life at times….but I don’t think I could keep it up over the long haul….I need breaks and those laid back times

    • When I was young, extreme was where I lived, and I would have defended it vigorously at the time. In retrospect, I see that I was just running away from myself. That’s fairly normal for the young; that doesn’t mean it’s good. I object more to the glorification of it than to the thing itself. What chance is there for self-reflection if all you hear and see belittles it? Where did the voices of maturity disappear to in our society? Down the cash register, in my opinion.

  19. I think Australia is coming a close second on the excess stakes in the current time.

    But who am I to talk, having been an ‘excess’ drinker in my twenties. My habit was to overcome extreme shyness and give me the confidence to fit in with the crowd.

    I turned my life around at the age of 30 (30 years ago now) when a so called girlfriend went berserk at a party and screamed abuse at me of some fantasy ‘crime’. I thought she was going to punch me and get physical. All because I was talking to a man she fancied. It stopped the party in it’s tracks and we all presumed she was on some sort of drug. It gave me a lot of ‘food for thought’ the next day and I decided this persona I was presenting to the world wasn’t the real me and I turned my back on that life, friends and acquaintances and never saw them again. Literally overnight – I never saw those ‘friends’ ever again.

    I think there are many young adults around who are like I was – just trying to fit in – to a crazy world of excessive behaviour. Just trying to be one of the crowd.

    I never regretted starting life anew.

    I can only hope that that drunk in your cafe ‘sees the light’ and turns his life around one day soon too.

    • “I turned my life around at the age of 30 (30 years ago now) when a so called girlfriend went berserk at a party and screamed abuse at me of some fantasy ‘crime’. I thought she was going to punch me and get physical. All because I was talking to a man she fancied”

      dude, that is a great story and example…..I often wonder why people who witness similar things as you did don’t turn their lives around. For instance, I’m sure that some of those other people at the party you described ended up staying on the same life course and didn’t alter direction like you…….

  20. This whole blackout Wednesday thing is new to me. Since when is that a thing? Who wants to be hung ovwr while they visit with family on thanksgiving?

    To each their own, I guess. I enjoy the holidays but I always make an effort to focus on loved ones firsts. Food and shopping come second.

    • TK,

      I don’t get it either……I’m not a big fan of being hung over in the first place…it doesn’t feel all that great…so why people would want to be hung over while visiting with family on thanksgiving is a mystery to me…..I’m not judging them for doing it…I just can’t relate

  21. 70% use prescription drugs??? I guess America’s war on drugs is a hypocritical failure.

    But I concur, good things come out of dealing with challenging situations. Ended up with new insight for my blog thanks to someone posing challenging questions to me, which of course I welcome!

    And here’s an interesting thought – in North America, excessive drinking is regularly associated with standoffish behaviour commonly leading to fights. In South Korea, excessive drinking is very common but seldom associated with standoffish behaviour leading to fights. Actually, it is common for people who pass out due to excess alcohol in public areas to wake up with all of their personal valuables still in their possession!

    • “70% use prescription drugs??? I guess America’s war on drugs is a hypocritical failure”

      yes I agree. I’ve written elsewhere on this subject because it makes me mad/sad…..what a waste of money and lives…the war on drugs has been an abysmal failure. I read a story yesterday that President Obama pardoned two turkeys on thanksgiving; which is more than the number of people he has pardoned for drugs… very sad 😦

  22. this morning at the gas station some enraged middle aged guy in a lexus got out of his car and started screaming at the gas station clerk. He called him an indian and a dot head and said he’d “drag his indian ass across the pavement.” I felt so bad for the guy, I wanted to hug him. Then I saw the clerk talking to the guy next to me. I overheard him telling the clerk how he used to work at a gas station and shared a related story. I was sad that the guy screaming was so mean, but then I was thankful that there’s people who aren’t complete a-holes. It made me smile that the guy next to me kind of coaxed the gas station clerk, I’m thankful for people like that. Kind of unrelated but similar that I found good in the bad.

  23. Kenneth – you’re such a “Debbie Downer” darn it lol j/k. We do tend to be in excess of things here but ask why – who’s in charge of those medicines? Big pharmacies that want to make money; fast food chains that have no problem making lots of money at the expense of people’s health, etc. Healthy foods are made expensive while the really bad stuff is cheaper and easier for those having difficult times making ends meet. I could go on but you get the point. On the other hand, we can be in control of certain excesses but we’ve become a society of if we can we do – never stopping to think… just because we can, should we? It’s crazy how it’s become that way. There are some who are waking up and realizing that crap has to stop but it’s like inertia… it will take time to stop that train and go in reverse, though it’s certainly possible. 🙂

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