By Kenneth Justice
“That’s the woman you’re sleeping with???” I asked
~ A coffee house acquaintance of mine is having an affair with a married woman. Initially he didn’t tell me that the woman was married, “Kenneth, I met this incredibly awesome woman and the chemistry between the two of us is electric!” he told me a long time ago. But whenever I’d ask for more details about this ‘incredibly awesome’ woman he would grow silent and give me vague answers.
It wasn’t until he was sitting with me one morning and an older woman sat down with us…..a much older woman. My acquaintance is a bit older than me (he’s in his early forties) and the woman who sat down with us was pushing 70.
“Kenneth I’d like you to meet L——” my acquaintance said, “she plays the violin in the symphony orchestra and we’ve known each other for years, we actually met here at this coffee shop” he said
For the next twenty minutes or so we chatted about things I’ve long since forgotten but it was at the fifteen minute mark when out of the corner of my eye I noticed the two of them were holding hands under the table….and then I felt a tad bit more uncomfortable when they began playing footsie with each other. Of course, when I eyed the fat diamond prominently displayed on her ring finger I didn’t need to be Detective Columbo to realize that this was the woman my acquaintance had been telling me about and she was a married woman.
I haven’t seen the two of these not-so-discreet lovers in a while but I was reminded of that experience sitting with the two of them this past week as I’ve recently become addicted to watching the television show Mad Men. Everyone in the drama Mad Men is having an affair….everyone. At times I feel like this show is nothing more than your typical over-the-top exaggerated television fare; but perhaps there is more truth to the sexual escapades of Don Draper and January Jones; after all, most research studies find that 1 in 5 married people end up having an affair at some point in their relationship.
And it’s not that I’m writing this to throw stones at my coffee acquaintance or anyone else who is in the midst of a nefarious cloak-and-dagger relationship. After all, some of the great people in the history of the world have been guilty of marital infidelity, and oddly enough they often cheat with women that are far less attractive than their wives,
—) Multi-millionaire golfer Tiger Woods cheated on his model wife with waitresses from the Waffle House
—) Mickey Rooney cheated on beautiful bombshell beauty wife Ava Gardner
—) Actor Brad Pitt cheated on his wife, the gorgeous star of the TV show Friends, Jennifer Aniston
That’s a mere sampling of beautiful married women who were cheated on by their husbands, and what always strikes me as odd about this topic is that for all the energy that men and the media place on women looking a certain way; when men cheat its rarely because they are hooking up with a hotter woman.
It’s not that the older woman whom my acquaintance was having an affair with was ugly; but she was nearly 30 years his senior and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why he was sleeping with a married woman old enough to be his mother.
But everyone is unique I guess and I’m far from having figured out the psychology of humanity and what it is exactly that motivates our behavior. Perhaps having an affair is about more than looks; maybe it has something to do with the connection two strangers make, or maybe it has something to do with the connection that is disappearing between a husband and wife.
“She’s not going to leave her husband” my acquaintance told me. “Truth be told, I’m actually the one who introduced them to each other and I regret having done it. She said she would leave him if wanted her to but I want to honor their marriage and not try and break it up” he said
Of course, everything in me wanted to target in on the word “honor” he used. After all, how the hell is he honoring their marriage if he’s sleeping with the dude’s wife? But it was getting late, my espresso cup was empty and I really needed a break from the coffee house action for the day; I can only handle so much sex & coffee talk at a time.
Just a few thoughts as I sipped my coffee this morning,
I will be in Pittsburgh this SATURDAY!! I’d love for you to join me for coffee. Check out my homepage for dates and locations.