Is anyone staying…REALLY???

pittsburgh 6

By Kenneth Justice

~ “Staying here the rest of my life? No way dude. Hopefully I can get a job in Florida or California; but there’s no way I want to live in the Midwest the rest of my life” she said

Have you ever observed a trend? In the Western World we place a lot of emphasis on what is popular, in fact, businesses pay great sums of money to analysts who promise them the pulse-of-the-nation; ‘I can tell you what people will buy and what motives them’ the analyst says.

Step outside your door and you will see various trends,

—-) The houses in your neighborhood likely look similar; they were built in a particular trend of the era they were built in

—-) The type of clothes you wear likely resemble the clothes of other people in your age demographic or geographic area

—-) The type of music we listen to tends to represent the era in which you grew up; the music of your young adult years tends to stick with you throughout your life

I’m currently on a tour of 100 coffee houses throughout the Western World and having completed stops in Atlanta, Chicago, and Pittsburgh I’m noticing a very distinct trend; a lot of people in the United States are looking to move…..eventually.

—-) I met with a late 50ish man in Pittsburgh who told me he hoped to retire to Arizona in a few years

—-) I met with numerous college students in Atlanta who told me they hoped to live out of state after graduation

—-) I met with a 30-something engineer in Pittsburgh who hoped to eventually move to New York

—-) I met with an early 40ish businessman in Chicago whose long term goal is to live in California

If I didn’t know better I’d say that the whole bloody United States is in a state of transition; everyone seems to want to move somewhere else. Obviously that would be a gross exaggeration because I’m sure there are plenty of people who are happy living where they are at……..and perhaps that is an important thing to ponder.

For more than a year I’ve been writing articles about Western Culture and the observation that we have become more and more disconnected as a people group. People tend to spend more times looking at the screens on their phones and computers than they do looking at the faces of friends and loved ones…..and perhaps this issue of ‘transition’ is the problem; if so many people are planning on moving to another city or state then what’s the point of truly connecting with those around you?

—) What’s the point of becoming good friends with your neighbors if you’re only planning on leaving them eventually?

—-) What’s the point of developing connections and relationships at a local coffee house or hang out if you’re only planning on spending your retirement years elsewhere?

—-) What’s the point of putting effort into relationships and friendships that you’re only going to sever when you move out of state in a few years?

Could this possibly explain the massive disconnect so many people feel and experience throughout Western Culture? Could it be that too many of us have bought into the ‘grass is greener’ mentality and we are much too focused on tomorrow rather than on the here-and-now?

My long term plan has always involved a winter residence. Born and raised in the Mid-West, the winters up here can be brutal at times and so I’ve always had my eye on a purchasing a second home in a warmer climate like South Carolina, Costa Rica, Panama, or the Florida Keyes (four places I really like). But I’ve never thought I’d leave the Mid-West permanently. My roots are here. I can walk into a coffee shop in any one of six communities here and I will likely know nearly everyone sitting in the place.

Why would I want to uproot my entire existence from the people I’ve known for years?

Of course, sometimes circumstances dictate the decisions we make. When the housing bubble burst in 2008 many of my friends were forced to leave the Mid-West in search of better job prospects. One of my closest friends (I’ve known him for 18 years) had to move out of state in order to get a better job to support his family.

Sometimes, in order to pursue a particular vocation or hobby we have no choice but to move elsewhere. So I totally understand that there are exceptions to most everything in life. But perhaps, this general ‘’I’m planning on relocating eventually” attitude is having a negative effect on our culture.

Did people back in the 1800’s think to themselves, “I’m only going to live in Iowa till I turn 65, then I think I’ll move down South”? Obviously that wasn’t a popular way to think. Before the era of fast automobiles and jets that whisk you from one place to another at 600 miles per hour; most people planned on living in the same place their entire life. They hoped to live long enough to see their grandchildren and perhaps even their great-grandchildren.

But the world is a different place now. Many people are in a state of transition. We are on the go more often than not and we simply don’t have time to spend a few minutes chatting with the person sitting next to us at coffee.

Of course, if you do have a few minutes to spare I will be in Philadelphia this weekend and I’d love to have coffee with you!


Categories: Culture & Society

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80 replies

  1. I think the disconnect so many people feel today gives them no reason to second guess moving for the sake of moving.Fewer and fewer people can appreciate the love and stability that comes from “roots” in a community.

    The lack of extended families that was once so readily available to help look after and raise our kids today has definitely had an impact on the generations we see today. I can’t wonder if things would be different if these kids grew up with a true community that valued them with friends, neighbors and family putting more effort into making sure they reached their full potential.

    My kids’ friends see me as another mother who will love and discipline them without hesitation and they are teenagers! If I’m at a game with them they know another pair of eyes is on them. I think accountability to a community goes a long way in helping to develop character. Just my two cents!

    • I think what happens now is that we replace biological family with family of the heart. I’ve certainly seen that in my life and my daughter’s life. We cannot help what family we are born into – we may or may not fit – but we have a choice about who we end up loving and liking and we develop all new bonds with them. It is expanded exogamy at its finest. 🙂

    • I totally agree. I’ve gathered quite a bit of “family” in the last fourteen years and am very grateful form them. Many of transplants are in the same boat with no “blood” relatives we can rely on near.

      However, I think that some people for one reason or another fail to make those connections. Some people may be introverts, have special needs or illnesses and often don’t receive from others/friends the support they could if they were closer to their “blood” relatives or even long-time family friends who may be a bit more accepting or willing to help even if only done so out of duty.

      I’m actually closer to many of my “chosen” family than most blood relatives. Again, that’s probably due to the distance between us.

    • IRL I’m an introvert. Which doesn’t mean shy. I’ve developed family of the heart in several locations from Fairbanks, Alaska to Woburn, Massachusetts. Maybe it is because we moved so much when I was younger that I learned my grandparents could be the elderly couple across the street who wanted grandkids, but had none. My best friend in high school was like a sibling. My best friend in college is similarly family of the heart.

      There are some folks who are isolated due to one reason or another. However, parents tend to know the parents of their kid’s playmates and so on and so forth. We meet up in senior centers, through PTA, in churches or through Meet-Ups (these days).

      There are folks who do stay in the same place forever and can’t imagine leaving. I can’t imagine being stuck in the same place forever, never experiencing new horizons. 🙂

  2. Uh-oh, Kenneth, you missed the fact that we’ve been moving around as long as we’ve had a country. I studied population and migration trends back in the late 60’s and we were exceptionally mobile then, because our ancestors were also exceptionally mobile.

    At first it was just people relocating for land to farm or new towns to expand into – America is a nation of travelers. My maternal great-grandparents (1800’s) moved from Bavaria to Canada to Minnesota then back to Canada and finally ended up in Mobile, Alabama. They had children in two countries and at least two American states. When I went DNA/genealogy searching in the New World I’m looking from the heartlands of Canada down through the deep south. I can’t even tell you how many times my family of origin moved.

    We leave for jobs, we leave for love, we go in the military, see the world and end up moving to someplace we were stationed that we fell in love with. It is said that a quarter of the folks in the US move residences every few years – maybe in the same general area, but often they are moving up stakes to a new place. The difference is that we now have the ability, through technology, to keep in touch with those we left behind – who probably no longer live where we left them. Our world population is constantly moving for one reason or another.

    • Right on; our country has always been a people of pioneers for sure. However, there were long periods of time in-between migration where people stayed in the same place. And often it was due to over-exhausted land that people moved; for instance, the east coast farm land had simple stopped being fertile in the late 18th century because farmers were overworking the land and not giving it the proper rest/nutrients it needed……..

      So while there is so much truth in your observations, at the same time there are lot of historic examples of people staying in the same place and having strong family/community relationships that exist over long periods of time.

  3. Though I do agree that many people in the US are in a state of transition, I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing. There have always been people who felt the grass was greener and there always will be those that think that. Whether they act on these thoughts or not, no one knows for sure except that person.
    Your comparison to people from the 1800s is a bit flawed. Look at the pioneers and all the people who moved because their town got too crowded. Sure the majority stayed put but again there were always others who moved on for better opportunity.

    Yes, some are forced to do so. During the Depression, people went all over the US and South America for jobs and all of those who migrated to California during the Dust Bowl because the farmers scorched the earth so badly it became inhospitable. So people will move for a variety of reasons.
    Today, technology allows us to research out new places, gain better opportunity and a more rewarding way of life. Though I feel true happiness comes from within, sometimes a change of physical geography can do a world of good…and can be very therapeutic.

    Friends are not lost and found based on their proximity to you…a friend is a friend for life…if they really are a friend at all. Sure, it might be harder to get together for a BBQ if they live in a different state…or continent but it doesn’t devalue the friendship, in fact I think it makes the opportunity to visit even more special.

    I think that a person who is unhappy where they are, should be proactive about bettering their outlook on life…willingness to change, do something different is all part of that. I say, more power to you! Enjoy the journey…live life large and don’t forget the little people back home.

    • “Friends are not lost and found based on their proximity to you…a friend is a friend for life…if they really are a friend at all. Sure, it might be harder to get together for a BBQ if they live in a different state…or continent but it doesn’t devalue the friendship, in fact I think it makes the opportunity to visit even more special.”

      I totally agree Mrs P. one of my closet friends of nearly 20 years had to move out of state because of his job yet we still talk a few times a week via the phone….. we’ll talk for hours upon hours and I feel just as close in my friendship with him as I did when he lived closer 🙂

  4. Interesting topic, great read. Thank you for sharing.

  5. This reminds me of a professor I had in one of the first college classes I ever took called American Cultures (yes, I took a class on my own culture). It was taught by this eccentric British man who was obsessed with the American cowboy. He related everything in America to the notion of the American West. We, apparently, are always on the move, never settling down. I thought his ideas were ridiculous because, where I grew up, most people just stayed. Maybe that’s a small town thing. Multiple generations of the same family tended to live in the same area. That’s why one’s last name was everything. With just a last name, most people could named half your family.

    Maybe the idea of moving is a more urban idea.

    • TK, I really do think its an ‘American’ thing…. because when I visit other countries I’ve noticed that family groups tend to stay in the same area for generations. I suspect there is an adventurous gene in our American DNA somewhere that is waiting to be discovered by scientists

    • Well, if you think about it, a lot of us got here because someone in another country decided to be adventurous and travel to America. They frequently came from communities where it wasn’t normal to leave. Perhaps there was something common in their genes.

  6. That’s why God created Facebook. 😉

  7. The Midwest roots and stability is why I stay! I have lived in the Midwest my entire life-three different states. I can’t stand the weather most months and would LOVE to move to a more agreeable climate. I am always California dreaming… But I stay for that reason. This article was so poignant though. What spot-on observations you make. I enjoy your perspective

    • Thank you…. yea, the Mid West will always be in my DNA… even though I hope to spend my winters elsewhere in the near future; I will always have a place here in the Mid West close to my heart 🙂

  8. We’re always in search of the bigger and better. Funnily enough, I have an ex-fiance because of something like this. He wanted to stay in the same area as his family (they all lived very close to one another), and I wanted to go off to grad school and go where I was called/led/accepted. He is a great guy, but our paths differed. Oddly enough, I ended up not going to grad school out of state, and he now lives in a different city from his family. Odd how that all works out, right?

    • How weird Kira, I think u might have told me about that when I was in Atlanta… its like you both flip flopped lol….. you are very blessed though because it seems like your life worked out well with your lovely children and husband 🙂

    • Yes, and it worked out for him, too. I still maintain he’s an excellent person, and he’s making another lady very happy in their married life together. As it is, I am very happy with how things turned out as well.

      I often wonder about how things play out like that. When I met my future husband, I hadn’t been unengaged for very long, and I was NOT in the mood for a relationship. My future husband wasn’t “looking for love” either. I believe that because we were both in this mindset, it allowed us to relax and get to know one another better before committing, and that relaxation as been a solid foundation within our marriage. We always make sure to not take ourselves too seriously. Like just last night, he was trying to swat a hornet out of the house, and he looked so ridiculous that I laughed until I cried.

  9. I hope Spouse and I have given our kids the gift of being brave enough to move. It`s hard, most people talk but don`t do it unless necessary or retirement- in my experience. Many people have a hard time with change so it has to be forced on them. I like to move every two years. It keeps me from collecting too much junk.

  10. I wanted to “like” this post but it is stuck on loading. 😦 So… I LIKE this post! 😀

  11. Some of us can be afraid of change; insecure to move away because the load behind us is to heavy to carry with or just happy enough with what we have achieved in life.
    In my opinion since life was created ppl migrated and always will. My family moved a lot but I always found them even though didn’t like facing absence so I can value their presence.

  12. Yes, people think the grass is always greener somewhere else, but I think that it because they are not at peace with themselves and don’t know what they really want. In the absence of self-confidence they follow the crowd or what the media projects as appealing. Then when they get there, most of them find themselves unhappy once more.

  13. I’m glad I already live in California! lol But I think people come out here because of the weather and the excitement because of the diversity. At least that’s what I gather from the people I know who have moved here.

  14. Well, you did it again, made me laugh early in the morning.
    I have yet to figure out why California is such a big draw for folks, I simply laugh. Maybe it’s because I escaped So. Cal (born and raised) almost 6 years ago that I will take the Mid West spectacular seasons,(no weather to speak of in So.Cal) the 5 cars at a stop light constitute *traffic* (traffic report in minutes not hours – still funny), the cost of living isn’t ridiculously out of hand here either, and frankly strangers saying “Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening” over the ‘It’s all about me” attitude of my home town.
    But when it boils down to it, home is where you make it and I will never go back to L.A., ever. I love it here in the Mid West – this is home.
    Thanks for the morning chuckle, have a spectacular day. 🙂

    • I love so many things about California….ive been there numerous times…. but I don’t’ think I could ever live there full time; so I’m totally on board with what your saying Elizabeth 🙂

  15. The grass is always greener… right? The allure of a place that isn’t your everyday reality can be pretty powerful. Of course people want to move because they aren’t happy with where they are at, but don’t realize that it isn’t just the snow falling in April that is making them want to move to Florida, it is their deeper unhappiness with society in general. Life as we now live it just isn’t working for many people but no one wants to admit that because then we’d have to do something to change it. Instead they prefer to think that changing their location will solve their problems but no matter where in the US they go their job will be stressful, the pressure to compete will be there, the onslaught of nonsense will fill their phone/computer/television screens. The emptiness will follow them wherever they go. People didn’t used to want to move back in the 1800’s because they had strong communities back then. Fill the void and people stop looking for a new place to be alone.

  16. I guess I am noticing something different. How unusual…not. ha!!! Well there was a lot of people travelling throughout the globe in the 1800s. A lot had to do with economy. A lot had to do with rights, with safety- personal safety, for survival. A lot of movement began in this country…expansion or invasion depending on your perspective. Now there are as many reasons as there are people for moving, for not moving. My son laughingly has told me that we rarely vacationed, but we did move. Yes we did. I was an RN – held decent paying jobs. Moved due to partner’s jobs or husband’s, and to return to be near family. Now with the nest empty…I wonder if there is a place calling to me. Of course there are places I yearn to be- not the trendy places but the quiet undiscovered places. Part of me looks to moving near my grandchild. Of course part of me says that it is time for me to see if they moved would I? Part of me wants to go into rural area, Part of me wants to live where access is easier – as I am no longer able to drive. Part of me wants to be more self sufficient and of course green…part of me thinks I may be old to do total self sufficiency given my disabilities. And undoubtedly part of me wants to run away from this body, to younger happier more productive times. That won’t be found.

  17. In land summers are cruel and hot, winters are cold. it is a fact. Most escaped busy places and moved inland. now it it reversed.
    To live in the fast lane in a fast city. that is the trend. In the mid west or simple in the middle it is slowing down. as people move away they destroy the economy there as well. Or so I concluded.
    If nobody is there to spend money we do no t need factories. we would not have work.not make money we can than again spend

    But we rather live thinking about tomorrow and forget to live today. As I once said in a thought of the day.

    And popularity is important. or so is believed

  18. I love where I live, I can’t imagine living anywhere else (Ok, I can imagine, but no real desire). Part of this is probably because I have a son in high school and family nearby, and they take priority – but also, Texas is pretty darn awesome, and I’m in a great spot! 🙂 I never realized there were so many people that were unhappy with where they lived!

  19. Kenneth, I left “home”, the midwest more than once, it is time consuming and at times difficult to adapt to relocation. Twenty years ago I decided to stop searching for the perfect climate, or location. Nonetheless I do have my father’s “gypsy” blood as he felt home was everywhere! When this happens to me I just stand in the middle of my small apartment holding my little dog preparing to go fight the freezing elements for those too often walks. I look out the patio door, click my heels together and keep repeating…”THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME”. You work is always enjoyable to read, keep up the good work. Ann

  20. Well, I was in transition for years. I have now returned to my hometown after 15years, and it is not always easy to pick up the threads.
    Transitions are good, but strong roots are really necessary

    • I’m totally with you. I’m back after quite a few years as well. I’ve also noticed this trend. We leave for college and maybe a few years of self discovery and whatever but so many return to home town roots. – the wifey

  21. I am with you. I do have dreams of having a second place some where sunny and enjoyable. I do not plan on leaving my home here in the Northwest. I have family and my children will have children and so on. If God blesses me with long life I hope to be there through all that. I think you are making a valid point and I appreciate it. We are so focused on what we want we are not able to enjoy what we have. This has created a culture of constant dissatisfaction which I personally think was done by design. Marketers need this otherwise people would not buy nearly as much as they currently do.

    • “We are so focused on what we want we are not able to enjoy what we have. This has created a culture of constant dissatisfaction which I personally think was done by design.”


  22. “—-) What’s the point of putting effort into relationships and friendships that you’re only going to sever when you move out of state in a few years?”

    Very good question. I hope more people think about how temporary relationships are.

    I could ask you what the point of your conversations with people and your blog is. Since everyone you talk to will die, all relationships will end. Does this in any way prevent you from enjoying communication with people?

    • Good questions Chandler….. Ice Cream sundaes are only temporary as well; but I enjoy every moment of them (I only wish I could have them more often)

  23. It is true that people are always on the move wherever you go. I have lived in the ‘it’ places, Portland and LA, as well as the places that people want to escape from, and you find that people want to go somewhere else, even in those popular destination cities. So, it is about your perspective.

  24. I blame mobile phones, smart phones , pda’s (whatever that stands for), and the like. I am sure they put something in the airwaves to put you off talking to other people. Because that means you use the electronic device more – more use – more income for the corporates. Having shielded my body from these “disconnect” wave patterns (dwp as I have named them), I have found myself talking to everybody I pass in the street. Unfortunately, as they are not yet shielded for the dwp’s yet they all look away very quickly. I understand.

    I think this should be researched and blogged about. I have searched WP for dwp – and drawn a blank! Kenneth, as you head off to Philli for another coffee tasting weekend – I urge you to bear this in mind. I am not sure what transitioning means – but dwp is a lot easier to type.

    Should you wish to engage in a dwp shield, I can draw a picture and upload it somewhere the corporates won’t find it. This is my new mission. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day – and stay away from pda’s unless your dwp’s are disconnected.

    A Friend

  25. I’m honestly surprised to see that all those people want to move…but to another place within the same country. Now, of course the USA is a huge place compared to my native Germany, but every time I considered moving somewhere, it was to another country. To take in another culture, learn another language, meet not just other people, but genuinely different people. I’ve never considered moving to, say, Hamburg instead of Berlin. The goal was always Prague, Barcelona, London, Budapest, Verona, Osaka…I don’t see the point in leaving your whole life behind only to move towards a slightly different version of it. I could only do it if I knew there was a major change involved, a completely different culture rather than just my own culture in another place.

    • “The goal was always Prague, Barcelona, London, Budapest, Verona, Osaka”

      Totally with you on this!! I want to live in all of those cities for two years each!!!

  26. Every time we have gotten jobs and moved somewhere, I thought we were going to stay forever. I know now that we won’t but I always treat that place like we are going to stay forever because I have met to many people who think they are going to be somewhere for only a few years and are miserable that whole two years and then after that because they can’t leave or be where they want. If you can’t be happy anywhere, you won’t be happy somewhere. Plus, we have moved a ton and everywhere in the US, some other countries, we have people. We have people everywhere who are there for us because we keep up our relationship on Facebook or through cards or pictures. – the wifey

  27. It’s so true and I don’t know why! Maybe because the emphasis in this age is on the empire we create for ourselves rather than the legacy we continue? Fascinating observation!

    • “Maybe because the emphasis in this age is on the empire we create for ourselves rather than the legacy we continue”

      That is a really interesting thought; legacy versus empire….. wow, I think I would shoot for legacy, but that’s just my opinion

    • I agree, unless the legacy you were left was a broken one (for whatever reason), as it is for so many!

  28. I feel very fortunate to have lived here for 36 years, which makes me feel quite old! My community is a lovely place; we often refer to it as akin to a “little English village.” Everyone seems to be connected to someone I know. We live on a cul-de-sac and I am very fortunate to have such amazing neighbors. When someone moves out, a party is hosted for the new neighbors. Evacuating twice due to fires has helped us all to become closer. One summer, when the flames were 1/2 away from our homes, a bunch of us stood in the middle of the street and said that if our homes burned, we would miss each other more than our houses.

    • Great example with the fires; I’ve been working on an article for a while about the way adversity increases the level of our friendships; its through sharing tough times that we grow closer together 🙂

  29. “Could it be that too many of us have bought into the ‘grass is greener’ mentality and we are much too focused on tomorrow rather than on the here-and-now?”
    –This totally reflects my prior mind-set. Always looking to the next big event to take place in my life. Always living for the future. Now I choose to live in the present. And it’s so refreshing. Living and noticing the here and now. And the beauty of the moments. If not, we miss ‘life’.
    –I think people are searching and seeking for something that will fulfill. One thing I’ve noticed, with my travels and all, is that you get to one place and soon after you want something else. You get accustomed. And even fed up. I guess people are searching for the romantic. For something that’s “WOW”. Nothing ever is.
    –I’ve never really planted ‘roots’ to tell you the truth. Had a really tumultuous upbringing and even worse adolescence and early youth. My 20s were a whirlwind of negative emotions and trying to figure life, relationship with God, myself out. And maybe that’s why I’ve never really been ‘planted’. I’ve had friends in each place, but never strong enough to be a lifelong investment/connection. Even now, my family is my connection. Who knows, maybe my husband is right, maybe I do have asperger’s sydrome (he swears by it ever since our son was diagnosed).

    • This may sound weird; but reading memoirs has really helped me to enjoy the here-and-now and not be so obsessed with those ‘next big event’ that you are talking about….

      I love your comment because it pretty much sums up a lot of my thoughts on the subject as I’ve had to grow from a similar place that your describing and graduate to a place in life where I realize that the here-and-now is precious and that I want to embrace every moment rather than to always be looking ahead.

  30. Maybe we are adapting in to a global culture shedding the restraints that the old fashion idea of countries creates. With better, cheaper and quicker transport and communication i think it would be possible to have a global network of friends. But i am a dreamer haha.

  31. I think most of the western world is not satisfied with their current lifestyle and location. Perhaps it’s a natural progression to take with the invention of the Internet & Communication Technology and the downturn of much of the western world’s economy. We see and interact with so many different cultures. Even many Asian peoples from more isolated communities want more (since the mere addition of a TV into their lives -they’re exposed to what the ‘other half’ has).

    We see so much more (that we think we want) in the Media.

    But when we get there, do we really find Happiness. Sure, we might find a ‘better’ job (or just a job, if we’re unemployed), ‘better’ home, ‘better’ community, ‘better’ future for our family.

    But are we happy? I’ve worked for some very wealthy people in my lifetime. I can’t say that any were truly Happy. Wealth seems to bring more unhappiness and dissatisfaction, in fact.

    Maybe we should strive for Comfortable and Happy, more than Money and Material Possessions. Maybe we should learn to Let Go of that eternal wish for More, and return to the more simple things in life?

    When you’re young, your whole life is about fun, friends, new experiences and instant satisfaction.

    The whole Mind, Body, Spirit connection has been broken and is drowning in a sea of instant gratification.

    Find what truly brings you Joy in Life. (The film -The Bucket List – comes to mind).

    I suspect the most isolated communities that have minimal or no contact with the outside world are the happiest. The remote indigenous tribes who live exactly the same way their ancestors have done for hundreds of years are the most happy. Those that have a simple way of living and close community support are the happiest. Those culture who care and respect their elders and look after each other in times of sickness and seasonal downturns are happy.

    They’re happy and satisfied with life (because they know no other way of living).

    • “But are we happy? I’ve worked for some very wealthy people in my lifetime. I can’t say that any were truly Happy. Wealth seems to bring more unhappiness and dissatisfaction, in fact. ”

      You’re so right Vicki, I have some VERY rich clients and they are no more happy than people who I know that are very poor…. sure they don’t stress out about paying bills; but they are no different than anyone else.

  32. Globalization is having a bad effect on you lol. vw

    • I don’t hate globalization…… but sociologists have been noting for a long time that with the increase in globalization; unique cultural distinctions are slowly fading away. I enjoy diversity and the differences between cultures; if everything turns to grey it would be a pretty boring world.

    • I have to pay more attention to your commas and periods and exclamation marks to get right tone on your comments then…when is a rant not a rant? 🙂

  33. Um, in my family moving has been a way of life since 1642 when we moved from France to North Carolina. Two of the brothers then became what were called “long hunters” and went with Daniel Boone through the Cumberland Gap. We haven’t quit moving since. I’m not sure moving is what’s responsible for the disconnect but it’s an interesting concept. Personally, I think the concept to move somewhere else is innate in the American people. It’s what makes us U.S. but it’s not an entirely Western concept.

  34. I don’t think people see “roots” anymore. I think for the most part, those feelings/beliefs have vanished or changed. People are not “attached,” to a place, there is no meaning or memory that is important enough to hold them to a spot. Those were old, slow ideas, that beloved to a different age, a different group of people who, while not always happy, looked at things in a more permanent way. They seemed to have more appreciation for family, home and place. In our disposable culture, even that is disposable. People move, change jobs, friends, etc., quickly and often. The teens today have little understanding of family his/herstory and don’t usually care. Those things have lost their importance to many. People used to have one job for their entire lives. Live in one place for their entire lives. Have friends they had known for their entire lives…today a person’s entire life can be fit in to a five-minute period of time and even then, it might be too long.

    • Also, the internet allows people to keep in touch, no matter where they are, so leaving is different than it used to be. You can be anywhere and still be close. That wasn’t the case before. Having that available, makes it easier to leave, at least for some.

  35. I just find the “the grass must be greener on the other side of the fence” mentality ironic. People going to each others’ towns, each thinking it must be better than home. Maybe, maybe not. Just different.

    I have lived many places, each interesting in its own way and I would have been happy to stay in any one of them, but I did not move because I thought the next place would be better, just God and life moving me onward.

    I have observed that if you think your hometown is boring, it is because you need to look at it with the eyes of an outsider. You bring your attitudes and perspectives with you, and if these don’t change, your new town will soon disappoint you as well. So go, but be ready to embrace a new kind of “everyday” existence and don’t do it for excitement, for even if it is “exciting” to begin with, it soon palls and you will have nostalgia for a previous place.

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