Saving your marriage and starting a revolution…REALLY???

st louis

By Kenneth Justice

My wife had kicked me out of the house and I felt like everything was caving in on me

~ Last month I was in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania visiting with readers and fellow bloggers on my Drinking in the Culture Tour. One of the bloggers I met with was a 40ish year old accountant, husband, and father of three children.

Kenneth, I think the success of your blog is that you’ve captured a small picture of Americana, or more specifically the human experience. People read the stories you tell and it’s obvious that they are about real people like myself; we see ourselves in the people you write about and we can relate to them” he said

Apparently, while in his mid-30’s the accountant went through a mid-life crisis, “I was making a ton of money but I was married to my work. My wife and children never saw me. I even bought the proverbial yellow sports car. It was when my wife found out that I was sleeping with my secretary that I realized my life had spiraled out of control. And it’s not that I was particularly attracted to my secretary, I was just bored. I was working all the time and didn’t have an outlet for anything meaningful in my life” he said

That was about seven years ago and the wife and he have since reconciled, “I scaled back on work. I make a little bit less money, but now I’m at home with my family. I coach my oldest child’s little league team. But really, this might sound corny; blogging saved my marriage” he said

In a desperate attempt at finding some kind of therapeutic endeavor to deal with all the emotions surrounding his affair and the fracture in his marriage, the accountant began blogging; he wrote poetry, his thoughts on life, personal struggles, and more, “Before I realized it, all of a sudden I was waking up in the morning excited to post my article every morning. I still haven’t published my picture or name on my blog, and I don’t plan on it, I’m just grateful that it’s something I can do that uses my creative energy” he said

Everyone blogs for different reasons. Some people write as a way to earn extra money, some people post their artwork or poetry so others can enjoy the labor that went into it. Other bloggers simply love telling funny stories or sharing their thoughts on politics. And for that accountant in Pittsburgh, blogging was a last ditch attempt at saving his marriage…..and thus far, he believes it has worked, “We tried going to marriage counseling but neither of us felt that it helped at all. But I’ll tell you what, by me writing down my thoughts every morning and getting them out of my head it began to clear things up for me. I began working through issues and began understanding myself better” he said

Blogging is fast becoming one of the largest platforms in the world to spread information. There appears to be a consensus in the Internet world that there are over 152 million blogs. Whether they are all active blogs or not is impossible to determine, but suffice to say; there are a lot of blogs.

Blogging is becoming the NEW Media. People have become tired of the Old Media; huge corporations that control newspapers and television stations that disseminate the same old depressing s**t. Turn on the evening news tonight and compare it to what you used to watch in the 1980’s; it’s virtually the same. All that the Old Media has done in thirty years is change the names and faces of the people who present to you the depressing news.

24 hour Cable News stations have all but become sensationalistic channels centered on inflating the importance of stupid stories in order to get higher ratings. Evening NEWS shows on television involve more arguing and yelling than even Archie Bunker could handle.

Blogging is the New Media. It’s the place people are going to be uplifted. People read blogs to laugh, to cry, to be challenged, to learn, and to discover new ways of thinking……Blogging is the New Media.

Even more amazing is that the fat cats on Wall Street can’t control the blogosphere. Blogging is an independent underground network of writers and thinkers who post articles, pictures, movies, and music purely for the satisfaction of their work.

Depending on whether or not this article is reposted or published in other forums; anywhere from 20,000 to 100,000 people will read it this week and there is nothing that the Old Media can do about it. They can’t control the blogosphere……and I’m starting to wonder if we are at a precipice in human history where the powers that be could finally be uprooted by the people at the bottom. Could we really be approaching a time in human history where the average man and woman can yield as much influence in the world of politics, art, music, and movies, as the multi-billion dollar corporations and millionaires who have had a stranglehold on so much of Western Culture?

Just a few thoughts as I sipped my coffee this morning,


I am very excited about arriving in Minneapolis this coming weekend! If you live in or near the Twin Cities I’d love to have coffee with you or even a beer! I’ll be at two coffee houses on Saturday or you can email me for more info.

Categories: Culture & Society

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38 replies

  1. And that’s it in a nutshell baby. There’s nothing more to say.

  2. I don’t think too much about how the government or Wall Street has no say in this, but it is kind of comforting that blogging is a kind of secret clubhouse our parents can’t destroy.

    • I think most of us have stopped thinking about the government because we feel its so disconnected from our lives and there is nothing we can do about it…… but what if the times are changing and we can actually influence the shape of human and governmental history now?

  3. Blogs are certainly huge. Even sites like The Huffington Post are technically blogs. I wonder how many bloggers get 100,000 views all by themselves, though. Perhaps that’s why no one’s afraid. What’s there to fear from billions of blogs that are lucky to see a couple hundred views a day?

    That said, I’ve found I enjoy reading blogs more than news. I’m not sure if that says more about my news preferences or the writing of bloggers.

    • Your right; huffington post is considered to be a blog as well…. which I find odd since they are nothing more than a carbon copy of every other media form. And maybe we are all attracted to reading blogs because we prefer to be challenged in our mental faculties rather than dumbed down by articles about Kim Kardashian

  4. I believe that it’s now possible for one person to change the world. As you say Kenneth. the blogasphere is enormous. All it takes is for us to unite towards change (for the wellbeing of all).

    It takes just one sentence phrased in the right wording to inspire and uplift many.

    I wonder who will start the’ ball rolling’… (although I suspect its already been set in motion).

    “How do you stop a drop of water from ever drying up?” – You drop it in to the ocean. I’ve never forgotten this line in the film “Samsara”. And I think it can be used in this situation.

    • Gosh that is an awesome line!

      What I find interesting Vicki is that the frustrations so many of us feel cut across age, ethnicity, and country; it doesn’t matter if people are living in Australia or Ukraine, are sixty years old or 20; we are all seeing the same problems permeating the governments and countries wherever we live. And I think it has to do with a small group of people who control everything, and they don’t want the average person like you or me yielding any say in what goes on.

  5. Wow. Your friend who started blogging as a way to handle a marriage falling apart is exactly why I started and I had the same results. It have me a voice and an audience that wasn’t my wife at exactly a time when she needed less of what’s in my head. It gave me someplace to share my emotions and growth as we worked (and continue to work) through our rebuilding.

    Now it continues to serve that purpose as well as fuel my writing craft. Like your friend, I too do not post identifiable pics of myself and my name is a pseudonym so that I can speak freely without hurting the feelings of my famlly.

    Strange how much identify with your friend except I was the victim of the adultery in this case.

    Blogging may not have saved my marriage but it surely helped.

  6. I’m actually very new to this blogosphere. A few friends suggested I try it to help me learn to refine my wreckless desire to tell stories with little hidden messages about life and learning to live. I was quickly blown away by the talent and remarkable struggle each person honestly and completely throws into the creation of a global revolution in art, media, and literature. It is an affirmation that the human spirit still soars far above the oily stain of desperation, unkindness, and biligerant voices that assault us from the printed news, radio and television. I stopped working so hard on my voice to be heard and began listening to all the others already here. It was then that I noticed I began to improve, not in my story telling; but, in my appreciation of all the people that give so much to the rest of us. Like yourself, Kenneth. Long Live the Revolution!

  7. My dear Kenny,

    Please read The Icarus Deception, it’s orgasmic. It is time to STOP flying so fucking LOW. We have been force fed fear for too long by systems that are nothing but mechanized efficiency machines. True it’s hard to see it when we are mired in the mess, but we can feel it.

    And it feels like nonsense. We know this. There’s a revolution going on in our skulls. Once it moves into our hearts there’s no stopping it.

    Art and connection. That’s all that matters.

    Got to revolution. Proud to ride with you, dude 🙂

    Peace ~ Allison

  8. I started my blog as an experiment and NEVER thought I’d enjoy it as much as I have. And you are starting to sound like a revolutionary, my friend. That being said, it is exciting to be part of a media front not backed by folks with monetary gain as a priority.

  9. Tv is beginning to resemble the joker from kin Arthur’s time. The more hurt they get the harder we laugh when watching. and we call it real life telly. The crazier the better. More shows are getting reruns.

    Always makes me think of the film idiocracy where they watch the movie ‘ass’ or something where an ass farts or a man gets a kick in the balls. and people laugh.

    It is great to read people can relate.but the real question would be. do people learn when reading about themselves. or a similar story.

    Another great article. I say cheers on that.

  10. It’s interesting that the guy you met, as well as some who have commented here, feel that blogging saved their marriages. I know a few bloggers who say just the opposite. Blogging ruined their marriages.

    They became obsessed with blogging, spending almost all of their free time writing posts, reading other people’s blogs, writing comments, and responding to comments others had made on their posts. Their spouses felt ignored and unwanted, unimportant. The bloggers’ the obsessions with blogging destroyed their marriages. Although it’s possible that they turned to blogging because their marriages were already in shambles and their obsession with blogging just pushed their marriages over the edge.

    Good post…as usual.

  11. I read a couple of papers each morning. But when I want the truth about what´s happening in the world I turn to the blogs. Despite all the bleating of the papers about them, they´re often days or weeks behind the blogs they condemen, that´s if they ever catch up.

    Slaves of business, banks, politicians and the secret services, the great majority of today´s mainstream chroniclers and journalists are chained to them by their mortgages, debts, and base material desires. They do their bidding and tell their lies. It´s a wonder how most of them sleep at night.

  12. That was awesome! Big thoughts first thing in the morning. Another reason blogs are becoming the new media is because of the quality. I can say with complete confidence that the quality that bloggers provide far exceeds that of anybody in the mainstream media. Even the tiniest blog can speak with a simplicity and honesty that is quite refreshing. I kid you not, I now watch the news, especially human interest stories, and compare their presentation to some of the blogs I read. Without fail, the news may have fancy graphics and video running in the background, but that does not compensate for the lack of originality, the depth of feeling, the heart of the story, being missing. The corporate news is a bit like fast food these days. We might eat it, but we know it’s nothing like a homemade meal. The flavor and quality is missing.

  13. The only thought I had reading this was numbers: 152,000,000 is a lot of writing/pictures/music – but an impossible number to view. Still needs something that captures someone / something. Something that resonates and keeps resonating each time another sees it. I have seen a couple go viral. And then everything seems to return to normal.

    Revolution or evolution? Evolution keeps a turning. Revolution turns only once infrequently.

    And a thought: “worldwide the estimated numbers of stamp collectors is around 200,000,000”

    • Paul!!! The stamp collecting sentence sent me laughing so hard!! Too funny…… great correlation but like all great scientific correlations; we have to take things in context 🙂

  14. Just like a “mid life crisis”, blogging can become all about your ego. I only began blogging to follow one poet. In the 2 years I have read some others, I can spot “them” in an instant. They are small and confused people that use the blog to puff up their self esteem. They are all about getting attention any way that they can. Even degrading and humiliating themselves. Kim Karashian looks classy next to drunk blondes.
    I think that some bloggers forget their real lives to live a gream of grandeur out here. It is tragic.

    • Great words of wisdom Ellen,

      Just like so many other things in life; people who aren’t at peace with themselves can use blogging as nothing more than an avenue to give them an inflated sense of self -importance. Its why its so central to our live to know ourselves.

    • Dream of grandeur. Ha. I have some sidewalk chalk. I am leaving messages all over town as I get out of my car. It is very therapeutic. So far it is just “Love this Earth”
      I love your dream of free speech and connecting with people far and wide. Just don’t become a Rock Star and destroy hotels. K?

  15. I hope you’re right. It’s time to put an end to some things and this just might be the way to do it. Yay!!!!

  16. “Even more amazing is that the fat cats on Wall Street can’t control the blogosphere.”

    While that’s true it’s also the case that once a blog (or anything else for that matter) starts to reach a larger or even a mass market, something changes and the message starts to get warped. Small is definitely beautiful in the blogosphere as it is elsewhere.

  17. Yep, I can relate to this. I have worked through alot of personal issues from blogging, posting my poetry, and connecting with other bloggers. Your blog Kenny, has always held the ring of truth and comes across as genuine, not puffed up with self-importance. I enjoy seeing what you have to say about things 🙂

  18. Reblogged this on Rob's Surf Report and commented:
    I’m supposed to say why I’m reblogging something here, so I’ll say that I want you to read it and consider whether you would join a revolution to topple traditional media; I’d do it in a heartbeat. I don’t watch it, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s wasting space and time.

    It’s time to get that back.

  19. So true! Wonderful post Kenneth. I blog for the same purpose the accountant does…to get all the thoughts out of my head so I can process them better.
    I also depend on blogs for happenings in the world, I don’t trust “the news”…like you said, they focus far too much on petty dramas for ratings.
    One person can and will change the world, because one person can spark change in many others.

  20. Certainly some very good points. I do try and encourage people to be careful, though, about what kind of information they are looking to get from bloggers. As many complaints that exist about the “old” media, and are certainly legit complaints, there are still certain guidelines that are followed and certain aspects refrained from in terms of libel and reliability. I know a local guy here in Needles who wants to be a journalist but he has no clue how to be professional and all his writings, video and what not are not only display his horrid concept for grammar but also his inability to be unbiased (much worse than mainstream media by the way) and in fact, more times than not, his “contributions” hurt this city more than help it in more ways than one. He’s lucky someone has sued him for libel yet. So yes, I agree having this venue is probably very good for us as a society in more ways than one, BUT be cautious because not all who use this are any better than the “old” media you’re bitching about lol. 🙂 Just saying. I do agree, generally speaking, that more access to each other, more access to learning our experiences can lead to better decisions that will help everyone.

  21. You need to stop listening to your uncle and tell us already!

  22. Great story, Kenneth. Uplifting to see the power of blogging. Funny because I just questioned it yesterday on my own blog. As for your coffee shop visits, I think you should make an e-book. People who have missed some of your posts would like to get to read them. And the rest of us? I would get a copy for sure.

  23. A large part of the reason why we went to Afghanistan and produced the DVD that we did was to be able to give a ‘real’ idea of the Afghan people. The media definitely thrives off of sensationalism and people get wrong ideas and information because of it. Our DVD was to give a voice to those that don’t have a voice. To give dignity to the Afghan people where minds have been taught that they’re all about war, terrorism and the Taliban.

  24. Reblogged this on randomblurting and commented:
    I love the idea that blogging is the “new media”.. I enjoy blogging or reading other blogs also because I was getting tired of reading the same old rubbish. Great post Kenneth.

  25. Outstanding comments in today’s post!

    ” It’s the place people are going to be uplifted. People read blogs to laugh, to cry, to be challenged, to learn, and to discover new ways of thinking……Blogging is the New Media.”

  26. There is a reason why Obama said (on live TV) “Don’t listen to the bloggers.” It is because he knows that it is the bloggers who are getting the true facts from the alternative news sites and sharing it with the American public. The government knows this will be an astronomical hurdle for them to get over – controlling, censoring and silencing the bloggers. It is already being attempted quietly on Facebook and other social media sites.

    Blogging can open many doors for anyone who can write a decent article or post. Long gone from blogging and search engines are keyword-tallied scorecards. If your posts are quality-driven, grammatically correct, and 500 words or more you will catch the attention of the search engine spiders, and others.

    “Blogging is the voice of the people – for the people – by the people.” I wrote that and stick by it and so should all the rest of you. Spread it around!

  27. I love your blog! AND you’re a total babe!!!!!

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