What the hell is it REALLY about…???

st louis 3

“You’re all just wasting your time!” he said

 

By Kenneth Justice

~ A few weeks ago I was in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania meeting with readers on my Drinking in the Culture Tour, my excuse to venture out into the world and see what this whole blogosphere is really like in face-to-face connections with fellow bloggers.

While at coffee I met a really nice fellow blogger; a mid-40ish woman, happily married with two children. She and her husband live in the greater Pittsburgh area and this woman loves blogging.

I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for nearly ten years and blogging has given me the opportunity to feel like an adult” she said, “I’m not sure if you know what it’s like to be stuck at home with little children, but some days the highlight of my conversational experience is talking to my seven year old about his favorite cartoons” she said

The mother doesn’t regret her decision to stay-at-home, “I actually obtained my Master’s Degree in social work shortly before the birth of our first child and since my husband has a good job, I didn’t need to work” she said

The husband however doesn’t really ‘get’ the whole blogging thing, “He thinks that its nuts. He thought it was strange that I wanted to come out to coffee in order to meet you, but we ended up having a good conversation about all of this. I don’t think he truly realized how isolated I feel at times being stuck at home. The people I interact with on my blog have become a community to me, the conversations you and I have had over the past year mean a lot to me” she said

ConversationConnectivityCommunity

Those three buzzwords keep coming up all across the United States as I meet with people from city to city. In yesteryear, religious institutions were a big part of the community and connection that people received to fulfill that need in their pscyho-social makeup, but as religious institutions became more meeting driven, (focused on planned meetings and schedules) people were left hanging with the basic fundamental need of all humanity; the innate desire to simply hang out with friends and have good conversation. So many of us don’t want to go to yet another meeting, we simply want to enjoy each other’s company.

I’m hardly the most popular blogger out there. I can’t imagine what my coffee house tour would be like if I were Andrew Sullivan with one million readers and followers; I wouldn’t even be able to have conversations with people in each state because there would be too many people. So I’m thankful that while there have been a couple places where nearly a dozen people showed up; usually it’s a couple people that I get to sit with and enjoy a good conversation over a cup of coffee. I’m thankful to have made so many connections over the past year through my blog and it’s been through those conversations that I’ve been really challenged to think and expand my own perspective on life.

This Pittsburgh mother was highly educated; she has a lot to contribute to the world and she doesn’t want to feel like she’s stuck at home doing nothing with the education she received. Blogging has given her the opportunity to contribute to the world.

President Obama used a poor choice of words a couple years ago when he said, “Don’t listen to the bloggers”. There’s a negative perception out there that the blogging community is nothing but a bunch of loons spewing lies, hatred, and malicious gossip. Yet, if we want lies and malicious gossip we merely need to turn our television on.

—-) The President of the United States and our Government has been spying on other countries and refuse to even apologize about it

—-) The U.S. Government has killed multiple U.S. citizens without a trial or court order and refuses to apologize for their actions

—-) Newspapers and Media outlets constantly spew venom at both political parties in the United States (depending on the particular media’s political angle) yet if we are going to be honest about it; neither political party is doing anything all that good for positive social change in our culture.

I’m tired of the worn-out-cliché and attitude that blogging and bloggers are nothing more than a bunch of beatniks. The simple fact of the matter is that after visiting six U.S. states in the past two months I’ve met more lawyers, teachers, and highly educated people who are bloggers than I ever could of imagined.

Bloggers are not simply bored stay-at-home parents. They are people who want to contribute something positive to the world and they realize that the current structure of society at the government and academic level leaves a lot to be desired. If we are going to be honest about it, Academic Institutions have become more concerned with making money off of student’s backs and pushing their own B.S. agenda’s then they care about pure and unadulterated education.

I will be in Minneapolis, Minnesota this weekend and whether I only meet one fellow blogger or twenty, I’m going to continue being thankful for this unique experience. I can’t imagine what the future holds but I’m really excited about it

Just a few thoughts as I sipped my coffee this morning,

Kenneth

 

 

 

 



Categories: Culture & Society

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

94 replies

  1. Well said 🙂

  2. Your title made me think about why we all feel good when someone jokes…REALLY? The reason is that it is a minute to ask “Do you really believe that?” “Are you for Real?”…come on I don’t think so.Look at yourself again. Isn’t that why we love to talk with other people? To try to understand their world and their viewpoints. To better define what we stand for. To share ideas with others. To be real.
    I get your blogger. Making choices in your life that involve sacrificing intellectual interaction with others requires creating connections in a novel way.

    • Ellen, thank you 🙂 There is part of me that keeps asking myself about the ‘really’ and I ask, “Kenneth….REALLY??? you’re still using ‘REALLY??” ” lol.

      “making choices in your life that involve sacrificing intellectual interaction with others requires creating connections in a novel way

      I like that a lot!

  3. I agree with every word you’ve written here Kenneth (and as you know from previous comments of mine, that isn’t always so!) Just remember – when you want a coffee in China, I can arrange it – yes I know that China is famous for tea-drinking (not-half!) but they grow excellent coffee in Yunnan Province and even supply beans to Starbucks 🙂

    • Herschelian, I absolutely LOVE that you disagree with me 🙂 if you knew me in my real life coffee house atmosphere you’d know that my favorite conversations are with people who I don’t see eye-to-eye with on topics, and since I’m not really an ‘arguer’, I love have serious conversations with people who have different perspectives

  4. (snooty British accent) Here, here!

    • I LOVE the snooty British accent….I wish all English people talked with one. I need to move to Great Britain one day so I can adopt it as my accent and hope nobody gives me hell for it 🙂

  5. I see what you did there, B.S. = Bachelor of Science… Pretty smooth word play.

    My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and I plan on talking to her about feeling isolated now. She has a fairly good social network here (face-to-face) but they don’t always do the best about hooking up together.

    Community. That is going to be the key out of the three. If you “feel” community then conversation and connectivity are a part of that. I saw a great Ted Talk yesterday (old one that is on Netflix) about how to create a movement. It starts with one person being willing to be different. But the key is the next person who joins that one person – the first follower (FF). FF is really a leader in his/her own right. The original leader then embraces the FF as an equal and pretty soon others join in. Before long, those who don’t want to be left out of the new “in-crowd” are flocking to the movement. That being said…keep posting about change, what you are observing, etc… You are the OG, and you have lots of FF’s that you have embraced as equals. The movement is beginning.

    Keith

    • Yea, I think whether it is a man or woman who is at home; the world has changed so much that its too easy to feel isolated unfortunately. My grandparents era was so different; they would see neighbors and relatives every single day of the week. So there was constant community whenever they needed it. Now-a-days though, if a stay-at-home spouse or significant other wants to hang out with people they usually have to ‘schedule’ it.

  6. This post explains the “why” of my desire to blog better than anything I’ve ever written. Now if I could only get all those naysayers in my life to read & understand this, I’d be golden. Well said.

  7. One of the great things about blogging is how it doesn´t just bring the people of a nation together, it brings nations of people together. We learn we are far more alike than our governments would like us to believe, and there are people like ouselves, who don´t like what our governments are doing in our name.

    Through the internet, we learn that borders are abstract concepts that suit miilitary/industrial complexes, big business, international banking, global energy concerns and big government more than ordinary people. They are designed to keep us apart, not bring us together.

    Not only that, but also, as bloggers, a good proportion of are prepared to say so. If that ‘s being a beatnik, where do I sign?

    • I just love that first sentence of yours Bryan.

      Even reading Kenneth’s blog brings me to believe that people the world over are just itching to have their say on similar topics.

      Wasn’t it C S Lewis who wrote that we read to know that we are not alone?

    • Vicki thank you… and yes. Your quote is exactly right; he did say that 🙂

  8. Fantastic! I am so glad I found your blog, Kenneth, because you have something special here!

  9. Yeah…. others have obviously have put more thought in to their blog than I have… but I don’t think it means I’m getting any less out of it! I’m very fulfilled with mine, even if there isn’t that much though behind it!

  10. The government would hate blogging because any honest conversation between citizens can be dangerous and threatening to them and their agenda. They can’t “control” what people say…well, at least not yet. All they can do is read it and target certain people and I guess, “disappear them,” if they get too close to the truth or too annoying:) The American way. ..well at least it is NOW. I couldn’t agree more with what you said about colleges. Putting people in debt they can never get out of, while preparing their children for failure. It’s the debt they are interested in. People…powerless…their kids coming home with no jobs. A psych degree that cost 150,000.00…and what good is it? Sigh. Middle class is disappearing…quickly and this is part of the reason. College has become a very expensive, glorified hight school. I just read a bit by a professor who said that he doesn’t know how to teach anymore because the kids can’t pay attention long enough to read one paragraph. Good luck with that.

    • When you wrote that, about the professor, it really made me stop and think. Not all colleges are just out for money…a lot of them are. Some of the smaller, private schools are still interested in education. It’s just that all I see are poor families (because of the loans) and grads without jobs…still living at him and working in dead-end jobs…and the DEBT will never go away. And it makes me angry that our culture doesn’t seem to be interested in anything but destroying the middle class, partly by drowning them in debt and not educating our kids because it’s not only the right thing to do, but it’s the only thing to do, if you want an intelligent society…which, of course, is exactly why education is what it is. Kills creativity, dumbs everyone down and turns them into sheep. It doesn’t have to be this way…nothing has to be the way it is but everyone keeps buying into the system and because of that…we keep going down the rabbit hole.

    • Everything you said I agree with 100%. But even the smaller ones that are interested in education don’t seem to be interested in giving students an education that they can afford. SO I feel that there is a level of hypocrisy by ALL educators.

  11. I was a teacher 38 yrs. Blogging lets me continue to teach. My followers are there by choice. It is a good combination for me.

    The same can be said for some of the more negative parts of society. There are those who have hated and spewed evil for decades of their lives. Blogging allows them to continue to a wider audience. Their followers are there by choice. It’s a good deal for them.

    So, what is the difference?

    • Jim, I think your a great example of the positive use of blogging; someone with your wisdom and experience is able to continue having a positive effect on the world.

    • Thanks. I appreciate that.

      People have tried forever to get others to see their point of view. Today, we have more handy tools to do so. Blogging is the best one as it allows us to fully make our case if we so desire. It really extends our reach. It works well for positive and negative.

      I think it is important that you make the connections between online meeting and face-to-face meeting as you do your tour. It is easy to assume that the online world is the real world. Well…that isn’t always the case.

  12. “Conversation – Connectivity – Community

    Those three buzzwords keep coming up all across the United States as I meet with people from city to city.”

    The evidence that we crave relevance is irrefutable.

  13. Well said! I’ve been blogging for 8 1/2 years and have met probably 75 bloggers in person. All but one were lovely people. Blogging (and traveling) show that one’s “community” doesn’t necessarily live next door – and we’re all the richer for it.

  14. I enjoyed your post, blogging has given me confidence to put my pieces of fiction out there. If you get to Ireland let me know, our coffee isn’t that bad.

  15. Just like texting started out a bit slow and then became a normal activity that “everyone” does…so is the blogging world. The number of bloggers is a growing activity and I believe there will be an ebb and flow in how much a person blogs. Many take breaks to write books or work on other projects. And some, like you just keep plugging away…day after day!

    I think most bloggers would get why the stay at home mom blogs…I certainly do! I applaude her for creating an adult life and keeping her own identity…while being a mom. People who don’t blog…don’t get it. I think a lot more people would blog if they knew the effect it creates on one’s life. I have encourage my husband to start his own blog…after all we met on a dating forum…and he is an excellent communicator…and far more popular than I ever was on the forums. I just think he’d really enjoy the Conversation – Connectivity – Community aspect of blogging. He sees this result from my blogging and has recently mentioned that he might be interested in doing it…we’re working it!

    …Really?

    C’mon Kenneth…that’s your signature phrase..

    I actually had someone else use it in a post and it threw me off because suddenly I thought I was reading your blog. I had to scroll up to see what page I was on…it was not you…but they were a fan of yours. You know how people start their own expressions…like this old one…”talk to the hand”…yours could be …Really?

    • ROFL! Awesome comments Mrs. P….REALLY!!!!

      I wish the government would let me trademark “really” although I would let everyone use it free of charge 🙂

  16. “ I’m tired of the worn-out-cliché and attitude that blogging and bloggers are nothing more than a bunch of beatniks.” Yes!!! We do have something positive to contribute, and we’re not just a bunch of kooks. Love this post! Blogging is the most meaningful way to connect to others via the internet; twitter isn’t meaningful, Facebook has become a joke to many, sites where you just post/answer only get you so far. Blogging is so much more personal became you get to blog about what you’re passionate about: people, poetry, food, gardening, and the list goes on.

    • “blogging is much more personal….”

      Exactly. I like the way you connected it to gardening because I used to LOVE gardening… I wish I still had the time.

  17. you’re on to something here, Kenneth! I hope that the opportunity for greater connectedness that the blogging world has opened up is just a seed now and is going to blossom. time will tell! one problem is money. Have you read Jaron Lanier’s You Are Not a Gadget? I can’t stop thinking about it.

  18. I’m sure that the blogging world and the internet in general have placed fear in every bigoted, totalitarian government in the world . . . including OURS . . .

  19. Kenny,

    Not only are you awesome but so are your followers! I love reading your words and all of theirs too (rock on guys!! 🙂

    Makes me think the fourth “c” so to speak is “contribution” – that is sort of what makes the whole thing a thriving cycle. Conversation, connection, community, contribution. Repeat! This cycle enriches us and keeps us coming to the table. Keeps us showing up to explore important topics. We get to think, be challenged, and give back.

    I wonder if this is the type of education we crave but our systems no longer allow. Instead of churning out grades, we need to encourage each other to challenge and question and explore and express. Honor and appreciate the artist, the weird, the different. The obsession with being “right” is killing the beauty of being creative, being open to trying new ways. Being open to conversations about what is REALLY important. (See what I did there? lol)

    Just some thoughts among (probably too) many! Thanks so much for this space you have created.

    Allison

  20. Bloggers as a whole are neither lunatics nor saints, although it’s not hard to find both. You can say the same about bowlers.

  21. But just think how powerful a force we must be if the president of a free nation felt the need to warn against us. *dances giddily with the thrill of power* My mini-math lessons will surely begin some sort of revolution! 😉

    Another fabulous post, by the way. 😀

  22. I enjoy reading your blog; maybe one day I’ll write about my culture.
    Writing is the mind speech; incredible way of human connection; communication =secret of happy life.

  23. I am always surprised how the three words you mentioned
    Conversation – Connectivity – Community
    always come together with the internet and blogging or other social media.
    and hardly ever with a neighbour or street. or flat

    I do however understand the fact it is is easy to keep up with more than one person at the same time.
    Still out there are the elderly begging for a conversation as their family hardly comes to visit them.

    I love the posts you do and it show us we still all need those connections and conversations.

  24. Reblogged this on MsKristina85 and commented:
    Just thought I’d share this with my readers. The Culture Monk (Kenneth Justice) is a funny, amazing blogger whom I’ve been following for the past year, and I always enjoy what he has to say. Check him out. I think you’ll like him.

  25. I (mostly) agree with you Kenneth about bloggers, but it’s like I said – there are still plenty who have no business blogging. I know your experience has been an incredibly positive one and that’s great, but just because that’s been your experience doesn’t mean there isn’t a different one to be had. There’s a blogger right here in my town that just because someone pisses him off, he’ll be sure to make them look bad in his posts – he borderlines libel on a consistent basis. He’s not alone. I’ve encountered at least one other blogger who doesn’t take a truly unbiased approach and is a bad influence on his readers. There are many others. Now – don’t get me wrong – I generally think most people are out to do their own thing, not tear others down. I also agree there are many bloggers out there who are taking a bit more of a neutral stance like yourself and are sharing information with a touch of opinion but not going to one extreme or another. I just don’t want you thinking that blogging is without its pitfalls because it isn’t. I do prefer to focus on the positive of blogging – particularly because as you stated, there is a wonderful community here. I certainly enjoy the benefits of it. 🙂

    • Jen, I think where you and I disagree is our perspective on journalism and television journalism. I suspect that you might hold it in a higher esteem than I do. Without getting into all of the nuts and bolts; I believe the overwhelming majority of journalism is 1) sensationalistic 2) contributing to maintaining the current elites. Thus, journalism instead of tearing down the lies of both political parties and the academic institutions is no longer what journalism used to be.

      Think about it Jen, how much journalism these days is REAL investigative reporting? It almost doesn’t even exist like it did back into the 1960’s. Front page stories used to be focused on uncovering the secrets of Washington elites but instead its not up to the Julies Assanges and the dude hiding in Russia who leaked the CIA information….. where are the f**king journalists who should be uncovering that stuff? I’ll tell ya where they are; they are being sent to report on the opening of a new Whole Foods store in the city or to cover a damn press conference by a politician where they are nothing more than a tool being manipulated and used….

      Sorry if my comment is harsher in tone than usual; its not directed toward you at all Jen cuz I love you to death. But I really feel that the newspaper owners and publishers have abandoned what journalism should be.

  26. By the time i have read through all these comments, I have forgotten what I was going to say! But basically I agree with you – and empathise 100% with the stay-at-home mom blogger. I think my blog keeps me sane – or as sane as i can be – but very few non-bloggers seem to understand the use or motivation behind blogging. that isn’t what I was going to say – but who cares! 😀

  27. “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand, make this world a better place if you can”…you are certainly doing all of that Kenneth. Beautiful, as always. Thank-you.

  28. You’re right that bloggers are a very diverse group. There is a very interesting infographic about blogging on IgniteSpot.com. Lists 5 kinds of bloggers: corporate, entrepreneur, part time professional, full time professional, and hobbyist. Majority are women. 53% are 21-35 years old.

  29. Well said, buddy. And on days like today, I need community, connection, and fellowship. I appreciate that there is someone out there like you who understands and takes on the challenge of fostering togetherness and fellowship. Keep it up.

  30. Didn’t mean for all of that to be italicized. Sorry. One of those days.

  31. Kenneth, I agree with your paragraph: “Bloggers are not simply bored stay-at-home parents. They are people who want to contribute something positive to the world and they realize that the current structure of society at the government and academic level leaves a lot to be desired. If we are going to be honest about it, Academic Institutions have become more concerned with making money off of student’s backs and pushing their own B.S. agenda’s then they care about pure and unadulterated education.”
    I want to add the following:
    – I had and still have many friends who are professors at American universities. Some of them are brilliant people and they teach math, computer science, engineering, etc. very well. However, all of them think about keeping their lifestyles unchanged. They don’t want any changes (even if they are positive for students) and they believe that being aggressively liberal saves good life for their families.

    • RIGHT ON! “they don’t want any changes”

      And that is my beef; the people in so many power positions don’t want things to change. They want everything to stay the same.

  32. I’ve seen some nutty bloggers out there, so there are clearly people who are deserving of the blogger stereotype. I would be you attract a lot of thinkers to this blog. Then again, blogging is all about thinking. So many people tell me I think too much or take things too seriously. They’re not interested in deep discussions. I wonder if that’s the big difference between people who choose to blog and people who don’t. Those who do enjoy learning, questioning and engaging in deep discussions. Those who don’t enjoy those things stay away.

    • You may be write about your observation connected to the theme of what I write and the type of people interested in reading. I will say though that we merely need to turn on the evening news and there are just as many nutty news people as well; they just wear business attire and try and look more smart than they really are.

  33. Keep typing those kinda thoughts. I had posted something similar last night. Maybe you saw it. Maybe not. You have the eyes of the followers. This post will make a difference. Great post, Kenneth.

  34. Reblogged this on Trucker Turning Write and commented:
    I like this post. On The Culture Monk.

  35. Why do so many people only value relationships that require face to face contact. Sometimes a person is more honest when they are not faced with possible rejection in another’s eyes or the challenges that the physical situation brings to really introverted people. And nowhere else is there the ability for such diversity as there is in the world of blogging. You can go straight to groups of people with like interests as well as branching out when you feel up to it. I love it! Thanks for this wonderful post.

    • Everything you said is right on; I think that Facebook has confused the situation because a lot of the connections developed there can be very superficial…. but there are other platforms such as blogging that offer a much deeper level of connection 🙂

  36. I agree 100% with the buzz words, Kenneth. Do something about it. Oh, wait, you are. 🙂 Sometimes I think I have more to say than others, but I’m working on toning it down some.

    • Audrey, yea….I honestly feel like i’m doing SO little, but hopefully upcoming projects that I’m working towards will begin making a positive difference in the world 🙂

  37. Wow, I didn’t know there were so many people who didn’t like us bloggers. LOL. It makes me want to blog more. 😉

  38. Sometimes, I think the bloggers are the only ones talking sense. It’s so refreshing to read one persons true, unedited thoughts. That’s why I love my blog. There, I can be honest.
    I was chatting to my dad when he came to visit me at Easter and was telling him all about blogging, the blogs I follow and he had heard of you! I thought that was pretty cool. He’s nearly 70 and only heard about blogging recently. :o)

    • Olivia, wow that is awesome! I am so looking forward to coming to Ireland later this year; the blogging community there seems to be growing like wildfire 🙂

    • That would be cool if you got to Ireland. I’m sure loads of bloggers would love to meet you. Me too, but I might have to bring the kids! Lol! There are lots of Irsh bloggers now. They’re such a funny bunch. :o)

  39. I’m pretty sure I’ve not visited here before, and I was trying to determine if you were visiting Virginia during your travels. Almost every blogger that I have come to be friends with has found the connectivity to be the most unexpected and wonderful part of blogging.
    I’ve had the good fortune to be able to participate in an international skype gathering with 5 others from around the world, and I’ve promised many of my blogging pals that I’m going to organize a Blogger Coctail Party (yep … you do coffee; I do coctails). Happy day to you!!

  40. Your words planted into the blogosphere go up into the ionosphere and are breathed into the hearts of all. Some are goaded into action and some into meditation and at the very least conversation.Very few have the stand out qualities,like you have, that make for a true champion. The Gods will always be with you, for they do what you do, they just give and give and give.

  41. Lovely read, I couldn’t agree with you more in terms of the bad press bloggers recieve, almost as if all bloggers live to gossip and spread lies. Yet it is these lies most people willingly pay for daily when they buy their morning newspaper. Props to you and hope you enjoy the rest of your coffee tour!

  42. Personally, I think a big thing that would do much to get blogging taken more seriously is for bloggers to start tightening up their writing skills. Seriously. No, really, seriously.

    I love periodicals, and have read most anything in that format for a little over 35 years. And lately, I’m starting to see a lot of mistakes in print (mostly in newspapers) that should be caught by copy editing and proofreading. Things like misspelled words, especially homonyms that a digital spellchecker just won’t catch– a correct spelling, but still the wrong word. Some of my friends have shown me examples of print where apparently the copywork was just a cut and paste from an online source and the links weren’t stripped out or re-cited correctly.

    Don’t get me wrong– I’m not necessarily taking issue with the informal style of blogging and other social media. Nor am I saying grammar, syntax, and spelling should be a barrier for people to get involved. What I *am* saying is that improving the quality of writing will take this “revolution” to the next level. I learned a lot from technical writers about how articulate, concise, and well formatted writing gets attention from readers, *especially* online.

    I still have a lot to learn about promoting my writing; you’ve got that down cold, Kenneth, and it’s something I need to work on. I hope you understand what I’m saying that if bloggers at least bring things up to the quality of writing expected for a magazine, then we can start changing the landscape of the media world. WordPress in particular already features some great tools to help us achieve this quality.

  43. I LOVE THIS POST!
    “she has a lot to contribute to the world and she doesn’t want to feel like she’s stuck at home doing nothing with the education she received. Blogging has given her the opportunity to contribute to the world.”
    –Oh ya! This is great. This is a large part of the reason why I started blogging. I can’t be traipsing all across the world at this moment so I blog. It has been an amazing experience.

    “—-) The President of the United States and our Government has been spying on other countries and refuse to even apologize about it”
    –HA YA! It was all over the news here in Brazil. My in-laws sure had their opinions. It’s crazy.

    🙂

  44. Hi Kenneth! I nominated you for the Sunshine Award. I really enjoy reading your blog. 🙂 http://goinroguedotnet.com/2014/04/25/thank-you-for-nominating-me-for-the-sunshine-award/

  45. When you want to undermine the validity of something, simply discredit its merits. “He can’t be an advocate for education, because he dropped out as a freshman in college.” They forget to mention he dropped out to start a software company, that now has a market cap of $750B.

  46. Stuck in beautiful Idaho, scenic … and an outdoor junkie’s dream. But I am not an outdoor junkie and there are no coffee shops around. Have a home near Seattle where I plan to jump into a full swing writer life with my partner in 306 days. I was asking myself, “Is it crazy that I hope this guy visits Seattle when I’m home one weekend?” Then I read this article. 🙂

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