That lonely feeling…REALLY???


By Kenneth Justice

~ Last week at coffee I sat with an acquaintance of mine who was feeling rather mellow,

Kenneth, do you ever have those moments in life where you feel all alone in the universe and start wondering what is the point of life? I’ve been thinking some deep thoughts llately and even though it makes me feel a little bit sad, I feel like I might be coming to some profound conclusions” he asked

I’m sure many of us experience that feeling at various times and those of us who don’t are probably merely masking it with busyness. The last few months has gone like a blur for me. I’ve had so much going on in my vocational life that I’ve been logging in long hours and haven’t had much time to sit back and smell the roses.

My Uncle Bob used to say, “If you don’t take time to drink it all in, then most likely the last sip is going to taste bad”.

But once you’ve found yourself caught up in the whirlwind of constant motion it can be difficult to slow down; especially when you have bills, responsibilities, and endless streams of work. Finding that balance between the whirlwind of work and sitting back and enjoying a little armchair philosophy can be difficult to ascertain at times. Yet the older I get the more I realize that the moments I cherish most are the quiet times when I am alone, or with loved ones and friends where I am sitting back and meditating upon the higher things.

When I come to the end of life I doubt that all the hours I log in at my vocation will count as much as the time I took to pray, meditate and contemplate all of those great ethereal thoughts that are floating around in the stratosphere. John Wesley said, “I don’t respect a man that prays less than three hours each morning“, and while three hours in prayer/meditation every morning seems like a tall order, sometimes I wonder if I should reorganize my life to accommodate the things that matter most. Perhaps I’m still not living my life in the manner that I feel best utilizes every moment and treats every day as precious.

Just a few thoughts as I sipped my coffee this morning,


Categories: Culture & Society

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38 replies

  1. This really touched me this morning because lately I have been having that feeling of alone even though I may be in a room full of people. W e get caught up in our everyday lives that we don’t stop to see the beauty around us or to appreciate it. Every morning as I drive my little one to school, we pray and it helps center my day. Or on the weekends I get up before everyone and take my coffee on the porch as I listen to the birds and quiet my thoughts. One of the things I have always loved about island life is that they truly focus more on enjoying life vs just working day in and day out. These days I try to live like it is my last moment because you are right, at the end you will not be thinking about your vocation. I want to think about all the people I helped or made smile. All of the beautiful moments I stopped to take in. Hope you are enjoying your coffee this morning!

  2. I think that it is in the quiet moments that we truly live, alone or with others. Our lives aren’t formulated any more for that and we have to work at even that.

    Coffee toast to you sir, be well 🙂

  3. It seems we have time or we have money…its the balance that we don’t have…

  4. I couldn’t spend 3 hrs literally in prayer. I would soon be repeating myself. I hope that the way I live my life is a statement of my intentions and feelings toward others and the world in general.

  5. Perhaps it’s necessary to be alone with yourself to come to profound conclusions. When we’re engaged in many activities and conversations we’re often just engaged in superficial, perfunctory actions–even though we may be enjoying ourselves.

  6. Its so easy to get caught up in the rat race. I have no idea how I would be able to survive if I didn’t spend so much time working. Then, I feel like I’m missing out on SO much of life (because of so much time spent at work), I don’t want to miss anything when I’m home, so I tend to overload myself when I’m home.

  7. Writing is a lot like that, and enjoyable.

  8. This is so true. Helped me to refocus after a busy work week.

  9. I couldn’t function without regular doses of quiet and reflection. To be honest, I think most people can’t function 100% without some daily time to themselves. They’re just so busy stressing out and slowly killing themselves, that they just don’t realise that everyone needs ‘time out’ on a regular basis.

    One of the greatest joys in my retirement life is the time to think/do what I want, when I want, and as a single, take care of Me. Of course my chronic ill health and daily pain does define some of my activity, but in general, I consider myself very Blessed to have Time (to just Be).

    Praw27 has got a good point – people don’t have ‘balance’ in their lives.

  10. First-when i am lonely, i make bacon. in the pan it sounds like applause and then i dont feel lonely. Second-when i want to contemplate the universe i get in the shower. All my best thoughts happen in the shower. to bad i cant blog in the shower…

  11. # hours of prayer may be a bit much, that said. How many people complain about the slur of the day. the dragging of days in which they get caught in that whirlwind.
    You can say it isn’t easy to slow down. But it is easy to step out. Take that moment for yourself as it will benefit every one else in the long run.

    If one cannot claim time for themselves (they so need help) to help oneself one will never be able to help or be helpful to others let alone do a good job.

  12. Feeling alone can be very unpleasant for many people. However, being alone is a great opportunity for me to know myself better, not to mention an effective way to rejuvenate; possible to even learn something new.
    More I think, more time I find for everything (except money lol)
    Cheers, Kenneth! 🙂

  13. Thank you for that good reminder. I needed it!

  14. I think this is where many of us are, in the developed world. Not only are we often emotionally isolated (sure not everybody feels that way/is in that situation) but we are often so busy with work, school, etc that we don’t have the time to sit down and enjoy life or enjoy the fruits of our labor. You’d think with all the time-saving devices, technology, and techniques, we’d have more moments we can relax, but such is not the case.

  15. I agree, if you are feeling unfulfilled or if you are spending too little time on the things which matter some readjustment might be in order. Work should provide us with the means to live our lives not be our lives.

  16. well said, and thank you for the reminder 🙂

  17. Your Uncle Bob was a wise man. Never heard that saying, but it is so true. Thanks.

  18. I wouldn’t change my quiet times for the world. That’s where I can get focused again and shut out the screaming noise of responsibilities and ideas. I’m all for being a ‘Mary’.
    I like what your friend said about maybe feeling a little sad about the things he’s been pondering. I remember on my last day in Canada, before flying back to Brazil. I was thinking about my family, days, experiences, happy times, life in general. And then I thought about death, and it saddened me. Death is sad. Something that was never meant to be, and maybe that’s why. You gotta appreciate the little things that don’t cost a thing (or at least don’t cost money).
    Hope you’re able to find that place/time to get centered, be alone, reflect, pray…
    p.s. looooooooovvvvve the last paragraph.

  19. Uncle Bob rules. I am officially starting a list of his words of wisdom. What’s his last name?

  20. I really enjoyed this post. I often have the same thoughts – “sometimes I wonder…” I imagine I will continuously be working towards treating every day as precious as well! Thanks for the post!

  21. I can understand where people are coming from when their life is so hectic that they need to slow down and take time to enjoy their own company and peace. But for those who have no one or nothing in their lives, and spent most of their time alone, then they are most likely the ones who feel alone. As with all things, I guess, we need a balance, of activity and social connection, and peace and quiet and time alone.

  22. A lot of solid comments throughout, your article is a reminder of living and embracing life. I’ve kind of come to a point where I recognize everything is what you make of it, we have the choice in regard to where we apply our time, it’s our job to apply it to things that matter.
    A thoughtful piece of writing that reminds us to look at the bigger picture of it all 🙂

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