A Smart Ass holiday…REALLY???

Oh my goodness, golly, gee whiz,

I just looked at the calendar, and I got a bit diz

My nose is getting longer, just like my hair,

And I fear it’s time to purchase, some brand new underwear

It’s Christmas Eve, Two Thousand and Fourteen,

Another year draws to an end, it flew by like a dream

So I think I’ll write in rhyme, I hope I’m not obscene

I hope I don’t cuss, and say “sh*t” around the pre-teens

So if you have a moment, just lend me your ear,

Let The Culture Monk recap things, it shouldn’t take too long dear

Though you might grab your coffee, or tea if that’s what you prefer,

Cuz when I start rambling, the time becomes a blur,

This year began, like every other year gone by,

The President of France had an affair, my oh my oh my

President Hollande, age 60 years old,

Got caught with his pants down, that’s what we were told

And not far from France, in the country of Ukraine,

Old Russia showed up, and caused Kiev a lot of pain

Putin set up camp, back in the old Soviet stomping ground

He wanted his vacation home back, and his fist he did pound

The Oscars kind of sucked, and Ellen’s selfie pic was a flop,

I can’t believe Brad Pitt and Streep, posed for such slop

But the Oscar’s were a sideshow, from the mysterious plane

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared, and the NEWS went insane

The country of India, experienced a major bombshell

Narendra Modi won a historical election, his opponent he did quell

Sadly, Modi’s win, was a secondary story for all

As we watched tearfully as Mosul, Iraq did fall

The Islamic State, led by a crazed dictator and his men,

Savagely marched throughout Iraq and then,

Unleashed their terror, upon the lives of the innocent

The Islamic State is evil, and it is evil they meant

As the summer wore on, and the heat it was stewing

In Ferguson, Missouri, a massive story was brewing

An 18 year old was shot, by the bullets of a gun

And over the rest of our year, a dark spot formed over the sun

The dark spot didn’t let up, many of us cried

And then we heard more sad news, Robin Williams had died

It seemed like the dark, had overcome the light

Because evil had spread through the world, it was an awful sight

ISIS and Al Qaeda, the evil Boku Harum

Ebola, and North Korea, and crazy gun toting policemon

The world seems to have gone crazy, the world seems to have gone mad

Twenty Fourteen was filled with so much that made us sad

But a momentary respite, came for those who like nudes,

The biggest celebrity nude picture leak came, and many said it was crude,

Jennifer Lawrence and so many other actresses and singers,

Had their nude pic’s leaked, and they showed more than their fingers

By the time October came, the story had been lost in the past,

Oscar Pistorius was sentenced, sentenced at last

Five years convicted, for murdering his lovely lass

Many people believe the judge gave him, much too light of a pass

And all through the year, The Culture Monk was cool,

I drank my coffee with panache, cuz I’m not a tool

I met with some readers, and quite a few who write blogs,

The year went by so fast, some parts of it are a fog

And cuz I’m a cool cat, and I don’t eat fat,

I figured it was time, for me to get off my mat,

So off to coffee to chat, with people named Nat,

I traveled around, like a wandering bat,

I drank so much coffee, I visited 200 café’s and yelled “Presto”

Now my pee smells like coffee beans, and I only poop Espresso

By the 200^th café, I was getting mentally stuck,

I might have slipped, and said the word……. “Duck”?

Hey I’ve never cussed, and I’ve never lied,

I’ve never drank coffee, and I’ve never died,

And if you believe that, I got something to sell,

Wanna buy a real estate in North Korea or in hell?

But I do remember meeting TK, in the Windy City we did dine,

I remember meeting Ann Koplow, and dude she is fine

I remember sipping coffee with Dewey Decimal’s Butler,

I remember how much Jen likes Britney Spears,

She like hers so much, she’ll marry Britney I fear

I remember drinking beer, with a chick from the Twin City

I remember hearing British wit, by a dude filled with curiosity

 I talked with a cool chick, with really cool glasses

And I read lots of good words for the day, by a guy who likes lasses

I read lots of great stories, and thoughts by Me – Who am I

And I learned that math is not fun, math makes me want to cry

I learned red heads can write, a poem here and there

And that blogs should be fun, with big noses and red hair

Some blogs are about God, and that is good as golds

Some blogs are beautiful, by people with beautiful souls

 Some bloggers are encouraging, they put a smile on my face

Some blogs are simple, precious and filled with grace

Some blogs are honest, and often clothed in joy,

Some blogs change names, and that is okay,

And perhaps I will mention other blogs, on another day

But for now let me finish, with a couple final thoughts,

Before I finish opening my presents, the ones that I bought,

Cuz I want to wish, to each of you and all,

A, MerryChristmasHolidayHanukahFestivusfortheRestofUsHappyKwanzaSeasonsGreetingsYultideBlessingsWinterSolsticeAtheistSalutations!!!!

And now it’s time for me to say,

I’m ready for another cup of coffee, at least I don’t have to pay

 

Kenneth

 

P.S. You should tell your friends to read my blog, maybe they will hate it and get mad at you for recommending it to them, and you can have a nice little bonding experience over my shitty little writings.

 

P.S. Again: You could also post a link for my blog on your Facebook, Twitter, WordPress Site, or email it to everybody you know and you don’t know. After all, it is the season of giving…….and what better way to give unto others than give them a blog written by a smart ass. Cuz Jesus road into Jerusalem on an ass, so a smart ass blogger is kind of a nice way to celebrate the holiday….right?

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Categories: Culture & Society

Tags: Atheism, blogging, Christmas, coffee, culture, Holiday, kenneth justice, nudity, philosophy, photography, religion, sex, travel