Oh my goodness, golly, gee whiz,
I just looked at the calendar, and I got a bit diz
My nose is getting longer, just like my hair,
And I fear it’s time to purchase, some brand new underwear
It’s Christmas Eve, Two Thousand and Fourteen,
Another year draws to an end, it flew by like a dream
So I think I’ll write in rhyme, I hope I’m not obscene
I hope I don’t cuss, and say “sh*t” around the pre-teens
So if you have a moment, just lend me your ear,
Let The Culture Monk recap things, it shouldn’t take too long dear
Though you might grab your coffee, or tea if that’s what you prefer,
Cuz when I start rambling, the time becomes a blur,
This year began, like every other year gone by,
The President of France had an affair, my oh my oh my
President Hollande, age 60 years old,
Got caught with his pants down, that’s what we were told
And not far from France, in the country of Ukraine,
Old Russia showed up, and caused Kiev a lot of pain
Putin set up camp, back in the old Soviet stomping ground
He wanted his vacation home back, and his fist he did pound
The Oscars kind of sucked, and Ellen’s selfie pic was a flop,
I can’t believe Brad Pitt and Streep, posed for such slop
But the Oscar’s were a sideshow, from the mysterious plane
Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared, and the NEWS went insane
The country of India, experienced a major bombshell
Narendra Modi won a historical election, his opponent he did quell
Sadly, Modi’s win, was a secondary story for all
As we watched tearfully as Mosul, Iraq did fall
The Islamic State, led by a crazed dictator and his men,
Savagely marched throughout Iraq and then,
Unleashed their terror, upon the lives of the innocent
The Islamic State is evil, and it is evil they meant
As the summer wore on, and the heat it was stewing
In Ferguson, Missouri, a massive story was brewing
An 18 year old was shot, by the bullets of a gun
And over the rest of our year, a dark spot formed over the sun
The dark spot didn’t let up, many of us cried
And then we heard more sad news, Robin Williams had died
It seemed like the dark, had overcome the light
Because evil had spread through the world, it was an awful sight
ISIS and Al Qaeda, the evil Boku Harum
Ebola, and North Korea, and crazy gun toting policemon
The world seems to have gone crazy, the world seems to have gone mad
Twenty Fourteen was filled with so much that made us sad
But a momentary respite, came for those who like nudes,
The biggest celebrity nude picture leak came, and many said it was crude,
Jennifer Lawrence and so many other actresses and singers,
Had their nude pic’s leaked, and they showed more than their fingers
By the time October came, the story had been lost in the past,
Oscar Pistorius was sentenced, sentenced at last
Five years convicted, for murdering his lovely lass
Many people believe the judge gave him, much too light of a pass
And all through the year, The Culture Monk was cool,
I drank my coffee with panache, cuz I’m not a tool
I met with some readers, and quite a few who write blogs,
The year went by so fast, some parts of it are a fog
And cuz I’m a cool cat, and I don’t eat fat,
I figured it was time, for me to get off my mat,
So off to coffee to chat, with people named Nat,
I traveled around, like a wandering bat,
I drank so much coffee, I visited 200 café’s and yelled “Presto”
Now my pee smells like coffee beans, and I only poop Espresso
By the 200th café, I was getting mentally stuck,
I might have slipped, and said the word……. “Duck”?
Hey I’ve never cussed, and I’ve never lied,
I’ve never drank coffee, and I’ve never died,
And if you believe that, I got something to sell,
Wanna buy a real estate in North Korea or in hell?
But I do remember meeting TK, in the Windy City we did dine,
I remember meeting Ann Koplow, and dude she is fine
I remember sipping coffee with Dewey Decimal’s Butler,
I remember how much Jen likes Britney Spears,
She like hers so much, she’ll marry Britney I fear
I remember drinking beer, with a chick from the Twin City
I remember hearing British wit, by a dude filled with curiosity
I talked with a cool chick, with really cool glasses
And I read lots of good words for the day, by a guy who likes lasses
I read lots of great stories, and thoughts by Me – Who am I
And I learned that math is not fun, math makes me want to cry
I learned red heads can write, a poem here and there
And that blogs should be fun, with big noses and red hair
Some blogs are about God, and that is good as golds
Some blogs are beautiful, by people with beautiful souls
Some bloggers are encouraging, they put a smile on my face
Some blogs are simple, precious and filled with grace
Some blogs are honest, and often clothed in joy,
Some blogs change names, and that is okay,
And perhaps I will mention other blogs, on another day
But for now let me finish, with a couple final thoughts,
Before I finish opening my presents, the ones that I bought,
Cuz I want to wish, to each of you and all,
A, MerryChristmasHolidayHanukahFestivusfortheRestofUsHappyKwanzaSeasonsGreetingsYultideBlessingsWinterSolsticeAtheistSalutations!!!!
And now it’s time for me to say,
I’m ready for another cup of coffee, at least I don’t have to pay
Kenneth
P.S. You should tell your friends to read my blog, maybe they will hate it and get mad at you for recommending it to them, and you can have a nice little bonding experience over my shitty little writings.
P.S. Again: You could also post a link for my blog on your Facebook, Twitter, WordPress Site, or email it to everybody you know and you don’t know. After all, it is the season of giving…….and what better way to give unto others than give them a blog written by a smart ass. Cuz Jesus road into Jerusalem on an ass, so a smart ass blogger is kind of a nice way to celebrate the holiday….right?
Categories: Culture & Society
Merry Christmas, Kenneth. May the season bring with it refreshing peace and joy to you and your loved ones 🙂
The same to you!! Thank you 🙂
What a perfect Christmas gift, Mr. J. Blessed to have you near by, my friend. You’re a poet and I didn’t even know it. 🙂 You’ve had an amazing year. I won’t give you a hard time about your Coffee Tour not making it to Texas. Promise. Merry Christmas to you and yours. (Here and there?! Pfft!)
Thank you!! It was an okay year… maybe this year will be better cuz I’ll get to meet you 🙂
Fingers crossed. Toes, too! 🙂
I can’t cross my toes, you truly are skilled 🙂
Hahaha. The list is long, my friend. 🙂
And Merry Christmas to you as well 🙂
Thanks, Mr. J!
Merry Christmas! Thoroughly enjoyed this.
Thank you!! 🙂
Merry Christmas Kenneth! May 2015 be filled with renewed hope and serious discussions over hot cups of coffee/ice cold beers. Loved the rhyming btw.
Thank you!!! Hope you get some rest over this next month 🙂
a year of history made to remember, finished with a gift this holiday December
Thank you Dude fro a yer of thought and joy may there be many smiles ahead these holidays coming.
And every discussion is a good way to learn about yourself and maybe renew our thinking.
Same to you brother! Hope next year is the best for you yet
Merry Christmas, Kenneth. I enjoyed your holiday & year end jingle. It brought a chuckle or two along with a sad tear here and there. Thanks for sharing it.
Thank you so much for your kind comment, and Merry Christmas to you 🙂
But Kenneth! You missed the holiday celebration that started it all! Solstice! Merry Christmas to you and Happy Solstice Celebrations to everyone, whichever you may celebrate!
Your right! My mistake… happy Winter Solstice to you 🙂
Best wishes for many blessings.
Thank you! And to you as well 🙂
Merry Christimas, Kenneth! 🙂 Lovely little rhyme 😉 (Well, maybe not so little, but fun and lovely nonetheless!)
Great year with fun and affair
lovely poem you had to share
You forgot about me? How dare? 😀
Hope Santa is generous and fair
Wishing blessing to everyone who care
Especially you Dear Friend Kenneth
Merry Christmas! Buon Natale! Feliz Navidad!Срећан Божић! Joyeux Noël!Frohe Weihnachten! Gezuar Krishtlindjet! 🙂 🍷🎁🎉
I wouldn’t forget you! Santa didn’t give me 10 million, maybe next year
I am always a fan of yours..enjoyed your rhyming..merry Christmas to you..:-)
Thank you so much 🙂
You are fabulous. Merry Christmas, Kenneth. And a happier new year.
Keep on being you.
thank you Rebecca, you’re fabulous as well , merry Christmas 🙂
Reblogged this on Clothed with Joy and commented:
From the fabulous Culture Monk, Kenneth Justice.
Outstanding post – you put quite a lot of work into this – you should be commended!!
Nice work Kenneth! Expresso smelling poop? You should be proud, coffee drinker. 😉