~ A friend of mine at coffee recently brought up the subject of men and what they REALLY want. If we were to go by advertisements it would seem that men want sex;
—) Do you want to sell a car; put an attractive woman alongside it
—) Do you want to sell beer; put attractive women in the commercial
—) Do you want to sell body spray; tell men hot women will be attracted to them if they wear it
In many ways it is undeniable that there is a large part of the man’s psyche that propels him toward women. Some people believe it is the man’s sex drive that keeps our species in existence.
Ultimately, I suppose what men really want depends largely upon each individual man. Some men are lazy, they just want to sleep, eat and watch tv. Some men are driven by success, they want to experience great achievements in the business world. Other men simply want to be left alone, they want to feel free to come and go, and do whatever they feel like doing; they don’t want children and don’t want the responsibly of raising them.
Psychologists tell us that deep in the heart of every man is a thirst for respect; they want to be respected. Whether it is by their family, friends, or colleagues, they want to feel that others respect and value their opinion and efforts in anything and everything that they set their mind upon.
Of course, we live in an odd world these days. We live in a world where the Internet has convinced us that we know everything there is to know about a subject after reading Wikipedia. So it can be frustrating to encounter men who ‘think they know it all’ even though they are very limited in their knowledge. How do we respect someone who thinks they know it all but in truth, knows very little?
We also live in a world of absent fathers. The great epidemic of the latter part of the 20th century has been the disappearance of fathers. Fatherhood, once the great institution in Western Society that many men aspired to, has been largely ignored by various facets of our culture. Instead of encouraging men to be great fathers, we tend to encourage boys to spend more time playing sports and video games, rather than honing the skills necessary to be a good father.
Being a good father is not about reading to your children every night or always having an answer to every question your children throw at you. Being a good father is not about giving long lectures and sermons to your children, and its not about being perfect, because god knows, none of us are perfect.
Being a good father is about giving your children a stable home. It’s about making sure your children always feel “at home”. It’s about giving your children a sense of security in this world of constant fluctuation.
I remember reading Laura Ingall’s Wilder and her “Little House” books as a child. She had a great esteem of her father, and it was not because of the massive amount of time she spent with him, because life was hard back then. Her father was often away, working to keep food on the table. At one point he had to leave the family for a considerable amount of time to work on the railroad because that was the only job paying good money. What Laura’s father did was provide a stable home environment. She always “felt at home”. She always felt safe and that is what children want to feel; secure.
What do men really want? It is a difficult question to answer because so many different men want different things. But I can tell you what I want; a world where men go back to being good fathers, men who are there for their children. Is that too much to ask?
Just a few thoughts as I sipped my coffee,
Categories: Culture & Society